so anyway, did you know i’m moving? turns out, so cal is not where it’s at. no, really, don’t buy the hype. or buy it all you want, i don’t care. hell, buy it in truck loads, the more of you losers... i mean, really cool peoples, yo.... that come here, the less i have to deal with elsewhere. as in, let’s consider so cal like a concentration camp for dumb people and bling-bling types, right? i figure my brother can be the poster-boy or the ring leader. so who’s with me!?!

been looking up north, near eureka. not in eureka, though; it’s so close to the ocean that it’s just too cold and overcast there for me and the woman. but, a little inland? very nice. green rolling hills, calm temps, nice scenery, and land that one can own for less than the price of a small island in tahiti.

I feel like a damn standup comedian asking this rhetorical question, but.... why does it cost a freaking million dollars – no lie – for a freaking small one-family home? do these realtors know that i’m young and poor? do they? because i don’t think they do! i may be pretty, but i ain’t no rock star. and god forbid you like animals and need property, hmph. no chance, sucka!

so we like animals, if you couldn’t tell. and i don’t mean in that old-crazy-farmer-’loves’-his-animals sort of way, so knock it off (you know who you are...). we figure we’ll have the gamut: horses, a couple cows, goat, chickens... i myself have put a bunny on my wish-list, some mallards, as well as a large turtle and penguin. yes, a penguin. don’t ask why – if you have to ask, you wouldn’t understand the answer, that’s the only thing i can say about it. but i envision the penguin riding around the property on the turtle, just because he can. we’ll all eat ice cream and frolic and it’ll just be peachy!

so southern cal? not for me. if i can’t have my penguin and eat it, too? not interested. that may not have come out right, but you get the idea.

Tags: Animals