That’s in, “The Beach is Cool,” which is quite different from me merely mentioning the rocks at the beach. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one nonetheless.

So I’m at the beach every other day now, I kid you not. It’s pretty, it’s not crowded, and my dogs absolutely love it. I want to say Miles, my Black Lab, loves it most, because he just can’t stand to not be playing in the water & waves, but Zoey, our terrier mix, loves to run silly circles in the sand about as much. Oh, and pester Miles once he gets back from chasing his toy I throw out there for him. Which actually, has been a challenge.

We’re on our 4th beach toy. First was a regular tennis ball. Hard for him to see, plus once you take your eyes off of him, it’s in little pieces. I got one of those “Jolly Balls,” which is quite decidedly not what it sounds like, you pervert(s). It’s just a big blue ball (perverts!) with a throw handle on it that floats. It was nice for the day it lasted before Miles destroyed it. A long-lost friend (see below) gave me some crab trap buoys he found. Cool because it floats easy. Strike one was that they’re so light you can’t get any distance on them, and strike two was that it’s soft enough that Miles can eat one in a single bound or something. Strike Three was that the rope on it was the manilla rope that’s really rough, and it was eating up my hands every time I threw it.

So I decided to make my own. It actually turned out pretty good. I got this large-ish hard plastic toy from the makers of the Jolly Ball. It has holes all around, kinda like an oversized wiffle ball. On the inside, however, is the key to it all: a smaller, air-filled ball that allows it to float. It’s not designed to do this duty, but it works. Then I went to Ace Hardware (a mere 30 second walk from my house) and got a length of soft rope that I used to tie handles onto opposite sides. It works pretty well, Miles has yet to destroy it in 2 outings thus far with it, and the only real strike it has against it is that it’s still pretty light, especially for its size, so it doesn’t go too far again. Which is probably prudent, considering Miles is 11 years old now anyways.

Actually, its strong points caused a bad point for me the first time we went out with it. Since it didn’t get eaten in 45 minutes, we ended up out on the beach forever, which is like twice as long as 45 minutes, and I burned something fierce. I’m actually surprised I didn’t turn out as bad as I thought I would – I was bordering on purple that night. But hey – Live, Learn, & get a base tan so you don’t burn again. Words of Wisdom from the 2006 Tanning Champion of the World. I think.



Long Lost Friend. Found. Reward to be determined.
So anyway, about that long lost friend. When I was growing up, I had a good handful of friends. Possibly my best friend, Mr. Daniel, was actually up here to visit last weekend. Across the street from him (he lived behind me) was a set of brothers, the eldest close to our age, and we’d hang out together rather frequently. Well years went by, and the eldest brother, “Smyle Kith” (name changed to protect identities) got drawn into a world into which me & Danny did not follow. He’s been trying to clean himself up recently, but disappeared from view some time ago...

Anyway, the weekend I moved up here, I called Mr. Daniel and informed him I had found a place to take him to breakfast that he’d enjoy. He asks me rather bluntly what my address is. It was a strange request, as it’s not like I’m a few streets away from him anymore, I’m a rather good 700+ miles away. But I offered the address, and I hear him repeat it to someone else, and then a familiar voice says that he lives just a few streets down from there.

Smyle Kith was in my OLD home town, visiting his parents, and ran into Mr. Daniel, and lo-and-behold, it turns out that 20 years later & 700 miles north, we ended up not much further away than we were as little kids. Strange, huh?

So even as I thought we were going to be up here all alone, turns out I have friends down the street. How freaking cool is that, huh? I’m trying to set up a dinner for us all (me, him, & our girls), but with my schedule anything but constant (Walgreens has me all over the map!), it’s been really hard to get together. Shit, it’s only been 3 weeks, though. I’m sure it’ll all calm down soon enough, and we’ll be able to hang out & catch up on old times.

Moral of the story? When you move, take a buddy with you. Even if you didn’t intend or plan to. Oh, and be more creative when protecting identities.
:-)



EnergyStar
So for the entire time I was shacked up down south, the parents complained that I was a wasteful energy user. I didn’t think so, but what do I know, right? I was not actually viewing my usage separate to anyone else’s that was plugged into the same grid. So when the bill came the other day from PG&E (Pacific Gas & Electric), I was sort of scared to open it. Scared enough, in fact, that I did NOT open it for a few days, as I worked up the courage to face the truth.

And the Truth? I’m a damn energy superstar, dammit. Our bill for the first 3 weeks? A hair over $5. Yeah, eat that. And our stove is even electric! And we managed a $5 bill. Hell, I bet PG&E felt silly wasting everyone’s time sending a bill to us for that amount. Crap, it wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on.

I guess what I’m sayin’ is that you don’t question The Man, and The Man is ME. I say I’m efficient & engergy-wise? I’m efficient & energy-wise, and that’s all there is to it.

Peace.

Tags: Animals

When it rains in So Cal, your car gets dirty.
When it rains in Nor Cal, your car gets CLEAN.

In So Cal, you rip up the dirt in order to lay grass.
In Nor Cal, you rip up the grass in order to see dirt.

In So Cal, Light Traffic means 30mph on the freeways.
In Nor Cal, Heavy Traffic means 60mph on the freeways.

In So Cal, a Hotter Than Usual Day is defined as “Above 105º.”
In Nor Cal, they don’t sell thermometers that go above 80º.

In So Cal, They rip up trees & name streets after them.
In Nor Cal, they rip up streets & plant trees after them.

In So Cal, the Sky & the Horizon are the same color: Brown.
In Nor Cal, the Sky & the Horizon are the same color: Blue.

In So Cal, You leave 15 minutes early to arrive no later than 5 minutes late.
In Nor Cal, you leave 5 minutes late & end up 5 minutes early.

In So Cal, you drive 15 minutes to take the dog to the nearest dog park.
In Nor Cal, you drive 5 minutes to end up at an empty beach.

In So Cal, Organic is a catch-phrase.
In Nor Cal, Non-Organic is laughable.

In So Cal, there’s a Wal-Mart on every corner.
In Nor Cal, there’s a Wal-Mart in So Cal. Yeah.

In So Cal, all of the SUV’s are 2x4 fakers.
In Nor Cal, all of the SUV’s are 4x4 Limited Editions.

Suffice to say, you won’t be seeing me in So Cal ever again.



Fear Not, fellow Mac Users
For I have not forgotten you; I am merely transitioning to my new abode. Where have you been!?

When I have a moment that’s not spent moving, lifting, placing, working, or hiking, I’ll be right back to adding helpful articles to educate you on the finer points of navigating your hip new Apple Computer.

So stop your whining. Geez, Mac users are such babies. ;-)

Peace.

Give him a tie.

Oh. My. God. I hate ties. I funking hate them. I hate them I hate them I hate them I funking hate them. You have to understand that I never wear ties. Er, well, I never used to wear them. But I think it’s kind of a requirement at a place like Walgreens, where I start today. So while at Target yesterday, I picked up a tie that goes with like every shirt I own, figuring that I’ll wear it in tomorrow, and if I do indeed need a tie for every day of the week, I’m covered for a few days, until I decide to make it back to pick up some more of them.

So yeah. I get home, and I realized that – by golly – I’m going to have to learn how to tie one of them darn tie things. Off to the internet. A mere few moments later, and google has presented me with pages upon pages of sites that say they’re dedicated to teaching me to tie a tie. Oh joy, right?

Oh. My. Funking. GOD.

They lied. Here’s the deal. They all used the same instructions! And I was fine! Up until step 4. Step 4! I was almost there, but they they did this “Go over the loop and then up and under the loop you created with the inside facing out while standing on your right foot ONLY while facing east,” and I couldn't follow. I seriously think it’s a big internet hoax, I swear to f-ing god. not one of these sites actually want you to learn to tie a tie. They're laughing at me. They're laughing at everyone.

I was doing this shirtless (as that’s how I spend most of my time @ home), and I resorted to putting on a collared shirt, thinking maybe I needed the reference point. No dice. In front of a mirror? No dice. I spent the better part of an hour being more frustrated than I care to fully share. I shooed my dog out of the room, because I didn’t want him to see me getting that upset; didn’t want him thinking he was in trouble, or that I just randomly decide to occasionally flip the funk out. Because – believe me – I flipped the hell out. I could just feel the rage in me grow, thinking about the people I was gonna hang with my new silk f-ing noose. I felt like Mussolini with Cramps or something.

But yeah. Ties. Not so much love, me and them. I I finally did find a website that had a decent enough diagram that I could figure it out on my own. The knot still sucks, but I’m hoping my dashing good looks will draw attention away from the shoddy neck tie. Hey, I can dream, OK?

So, yeah. If you want to know why Sicilians are always so upset, and why they invented cement shoes though they live next to an ocean, this is why. They wanted to get rid of the man who invented ties. Fuhgeddaboudit.

Peace.

Tags: Animals, hate

We’re officially moved in. Yeah. Today, I opened the last box & got it unpacked/put together.



And, I’m done.
“Done” as in “Spent.” What was the last thing we unpacked? Our Home Gym. You DO NOT want to know how long it took us to put it together, start to finish. But I’m going to tell you, so you can fully understand why I’m so spent. 9 hours. Yeah. 9 hours of lugging the stuff around, turning bolts, wrenches, screws, nuts, pulleys, pads, plates, & dead bodies. Well, my dead body, anyway.

And there were casualties, believe me. In the 9 hours it took me to put the thing together, I managed to:

• 
  
• Whack my head on the barbell
  
• Pull my Right calf muscle
  
• Injure my Right wrist
  
• Whack my head on the barbell. Again
  
• Pinch the skin on my palm
  
• Nail my shin on a low pulley
  
• Whack my head on the barbell
  

Tags: Gym, Animals

"

Some of you know that I consider myself quite the amateur photographer. I like to not be professional all the time, and even if I ever do become one, I'll probably call my sell an amateur anyways; it's a cool word. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that soon enough, you'll be able to browse some quick collections here, like you used to be able to do on my old site (for those that remember). I'm trying to put them together, so keep an eye out – they'll arrive soon enough!

Tags: Technology

And by here, I mean norcal. Thank. Freaking. God. And not a moment too soon, either. Another day in the So Cal deserts and I might, just might have gone insane.



And it’s Everything I Remembered
It’s nice here. The weather’s mild & doesn’t change much, the scenery’s green, and Round Table Pizza is just down the street. OK. We're good.



And in that Vein
NOT eating RTP everyday is going to be a real test of my willpower. Because it smells fantastic from about 6pm to 10pm daily. And while I’d say that for the most part my willpower is tops, in this particular department I have severe issues. Medium. Pepperoni. Thin Crust. Easy sauce. I’ll be there in 15 minutes. Thanks.



If You’re A) My Mother, or B) Married to Her, STOP READING
And now that my mother & stepfather are back in comfy (BLAZING HOT & BROWN) So Cal, we’ve managed to make our little place a home. It’s not that they weren’t a big help, but… we DID have to entertain them while they were here.

And it’s not that we didn’t ENJOY entertaining them – after all, we wanted to show them some of the things that really drew us to the area – it’s just that in betwixt doing all of that, we were not quite able to put things where we wanted them and arrange at will. Example being that the spare bedroom they stayed in will double as our office & “catch-all” room. And it’s hard to put all our junk in there when all their junk is in there. But in all fairness, I should note that after they left, I noticed quite a large pile of stuff still laying about, meaning that quite a large portion was in fact still our junk in the first place.

But now our bedroom is complete, the bathroom is complete, the laundry, kitchen, & dining rooms are all complete. There’s the matter of getting speaker stands & properly running wires for them in the living/family room still, And our office is minus a desk at the moment, and we could use a filing cabinet for our, um, files. I think we've accomplished more in the last 2 days than we could have in week with them here.

And all it took was the removal of family. I’ve been sayin’ it for years! :-D

Love you guys!



Need $$ Help? How I was Saved by the Club Card
Went to Safeway last night to do our stocking run. I new it was going to be expensive getting all this stuff we didn’t have, but needed, all at once. So we went cheap, and even though we’re all about the organic, I must admit I cheaped out for the club card savings.

Luckily. Took our bill down a whopping $40. Some 25% savings. And at this stage, we could use all the help we can. You have no idea how much money we have spent over the last couple of weeks getting this thing straight. So I’ll give you an idea

• Gas & lodging for the trip up here to find the place & sign the paperwork.

• Deposit & first month’s rent for the place.

• Gas & lodging for the trip back to pack our stuff.

• Gas for 2 Vehicles to get up back up to the area. Family helped with the gas on the 3rd. Yay!

• Miscellaneous costs to get things we didn’t have that we now needed. Think salt, pepper, spices, kitchen trash cans, bathroom supplies, Playboy subscription, blow-up dolls, & leather S&M attire. OK, I’m Joking. I bought salt & pepper shakers a long time ago.

• Food stocking. Yeah. Pricey.

• Utilities, all at once.

Oh my goodness. Quite seriously, it really it’s not one thing, it is the other, huh? Today we had to drop off the truck (The Girl’s truck) for brakes & alignment, then it was off to Palm Desert (Code Name: Hell) to pick up the moving van we were so graciously allowed to use by a friend of a friend, and off even deeper into Palm Desert to pick up some furniture that The Girl’s grandparents are giving us. Sounds good so far, right?

For the most part, yeah! I mean, free sh!t, right? Right! But man, is it hot out there. I mean, It’s hot where we are (or were?), but it’s HOT hot out there. I was sweating up a storm in the moving van rearranging & tying things down.

But that’s not the WTF I was talking about, so let’s get to that.

Trouble started on the way home. We hit the freeway, and an exit or two later, trouble hit us. Literally. See, the box truck has this horrendous blind-like spot on the right. I say blind-like, because I could see most everything on that side, but I couldn’t really tell where things were relative to the end of the vehicle, so lane changes that direction were difficult at best. So to make it easier, I had The Girl ride behind me caravan style, so that she could clear the lane.

Anyway. An exit or two after we get on, I take a peek in my left side mirror, and what do I see? A dark green Nissan Maxima careening across the freeway. Nice. I don’t see The Girl, so I go a step further and check my right mirror, and she’s slowing down to pull of the freeway. Oh. Crap.

I pulled off and ran back to the two vehicles, now pulled over, and I called CHP to come and write a report. The Guy had the nerve – get this – to tell me & The Girl that he thinks he dozed off. The Girl, however, said that she saw that she saw him come up fast, then try & pass on the right, then backed off because he couldn’t make it, then came up her ass and was attempting a pass to the left when he clipped her in my 4Runner.



Addendum
So we have the ticket referencing the incident report, but the CHP officer said that it won’t be filed for about 10 days. Awesome. Another Awesome® thing? The guy said he had insurance, but the only card in the car was from August of LAST YEAR. Awesome. What’s even more awesome is that in that time, our address is going to change & we’re going to be 700 miles away.

The 4Runner has some damage to the rear bumper, but that’s about it that I can tell thus far. Well, there’s also the left rear wheelwell trim, which was also displaced, and the fact that the bumper scraped the paint off the body where it was mounted, exposing bare metal (rust!).



But on the Bright Side
Did I mention I’m moving the hell outta here? Funk yeah!



Workout Developments
There’s no LA Fitness where I’m headed. No 24 Hour fitness, either. No gym of that caliber that I can find, either. So we’ve decided we are going to build a home gym setup, centered around a sort of all-in-one smith machine. We’ve actually seen the unit we want a few times in the last couple of months, and due to some bad timing (yeah, can you believe it?) the other night, we ended up shopping for it instead of going to the gym.

And there we were, staring at the sticker that said “$650 off,” thinking that yes, we were going to be picking this up tonight.

Sadly, no. See, they were out of them. The next store over was out of them. All the stores in the vicinity were out of them. ALL OF SO CAL was out of them. But, there was a light at the end of the tunnel… With some help from one of the employees there (Thanks, Christian!) who made some phone calls for me, we found a store that’s along the way to our eventual destination that does have them.

The catch? I can’t reserve it for longer than 24 hours at a time. So every morning, I have to call and reserve it again. Hey, it’s better than nothing at all, right? I think I will have quite a good relationship with the employees there by the time I arrive on July 5th in the mid-afternoon. Hey, friends are hard to come by anymore.

Peace.

Tags: Gym, Vehicles