So the first rain of the season comes along, and as expected, everyone in southern california freaks the fuck out. Because, you know, we’ve never seen rain before around here, so it’s probably the apocalypse or something.

I also find out that my mother was home early today, which prompted me to ask what she was doing there instead of at work. Turns out there was no power at her office! My thoughts went to “wow, so that little tiny bit of barely noticeable rain was enough to knock the power out of your office? Wow.” She, however, says nay-nay, which is comedic for “no, stupid.” See, apparently there was this guy who crashed his truck which killed the power. So I reckon, of course, that the rain caused the power to go out because it’s a well-known fact that 90% of southern californians can’t drive in the rain. Nay-nay, I hear, that’s not the case. Rather, he was forced off the road. “OK, so did someone purposefully aim him off of the road?” Nay-nay, I hear, there was a bad accident that happened, and it forced him off the road.

So you see, um, as I was saying, that small little tiny bit of barely noticeable rain knocked the power out on her whole block.

Oh, and in a related piece of irony: They guy whose truck crashed and took out the power? Worked for the Electric Company in that city. And moonlights as a weather forecaster. OK, I made the weather forecaster bit up, but it’s still funny.



Dear God, save me from the Dumb Southerners
You all may remember this blog, where I crowned a particular woman with the dumb southerner of the year award well in advance. Well, she’s called back thrice since then to assure me that I made the right decision.

Thanks, sweetie.

OH. MY. GOD. OK, so she originally called to order parts for her boyfriend who apparently owns a car (she’s real proud). Lucky me, he decided to sell this car so he could get his double-wide (she’s even prouderer). So she calls back to let us know that she’s returning the stuff, because she doesn’t think that a Cold Air Kit for a Car will fit on the Double-Wide. Nothing special, and it didn’t even bother me, mostly because she talked to Jaxan and not me, and yes, before anyone asks, she hurt his head, too.

OK, but there’s more, right? Yes, yes there is. Last week around Wednesday, she calls me to let me know that she has sent it back. Great, honey, just fabulous. You’re so cute. But then she takes up 10 minutes of my time with what I thought would eventually lead to some important point I needed to know, only to inform me that she didn’t send it out, but her friend did that works for Fed Ex did. FINE! GEEBUS! NOW HANG UP THE PHONE!

Eventually she does. But not for too long, as she called back again today! OK, so what’s your deal now, woman!? Oh, don’t worry y’all, this one was important: she wanted to know if I could track it and see when we were getting it back. Um, let’s see here, you sent it to us, so…. No, bitch, you’re supposed to TAKE THE TRACKING # YOUR GENIUS FRIEND GAVE YOU and do that yourself! See how that works? OK, she finally gets that point, right? Right? Wrong. See, this starts another 10 minute conversation that basically boils down to “I’ll call you later to check on that return,” but a lot more dumb than that.

SHIT. I hope she’s pretty, dammit.



Some guy from some place has something that I want
This fellow I met online about 2 years ago (shut up!) recently chatted me up to let me know he was getting a new Macbook Pro. We talked and I eventually talked him in to getting the 17” version. I didn’t try to do that, just sort of told him my wish list and why.

Now the bastard went and got everything I wanted, down to the screen finish. The bastard. Twice just isn’t enough: the bastard. And he tells me it’s fast, real fast. God, I hate him.



My anus has never been molested
Yeah, for those of you that read the above first sentence and thought “met some guy online, huh?” you can go and DIE. Truth be told, when the new operating system came out, lots of people were having issues with a new feature of iChat: the multi-person videos. At the time, I had a machine powerful enough to host such a function, and I wanted to test it out because I, too, had been having issues.

He’s one of the people who signed up to this one particular forum to test it out. And he’s been on my buddy list ever since. So knock it off. Really. Dweebs.



Bold apparently Broken
For some reason, bold seems to be sort of finicky lately. Sometimes I get it to bold words for me, sometimes I do not. Mostly “do not” right now, really. And it shows up on my end as bold, but when it publishes to the web, not so much. So I don’t quite know yet what’s going on, I’ll need to run some more tests.

So use your judgment: if you read something here and it seems like it would be better in bold, then it was supposed to be in bold so just use your imagination.

Peace. Er, Bold.

Tags: hate, Technology, earth conditions