Spartans, Popcorn, & Chuckie
300
(AKA: I’m more MAN than YOU!)
Went and did the ditty this past Saturday evening. Well, I should say that me and The Girl tried to do that ditty on Saturday evening. But, by the time we got to the theatres, the showing sold out. And so we walked a short ditty (word of the day, by the way) to another set of theatres not too far away. And were informed they were sold out for all the shows up until about 11pm. So we walked back a short ditty to the original theatres, and stood in line, hoping to get tickets to a showing at around 10pm (because um, everything else was sold out until then). So by Saturday evening, I mean "almost Sunday Morning."
Needless to say, I think this film is going to break many box office records. Shit, we couldn’t even get into the show short of 10, and we got there around 8 or so. And we tried two different, LARGE theatres (AMC 30 and Edwards 22 in Ontario, CA), that had it playing like every half-hour.
How was it? Good. Not quite what I had expected, but it was a good film. The visuals were dreamy, the acting was pretty good, and the cinematography was excellent. Actually, I think that this review really put into words well what this film conjured up, or rather how it conjured up. Heck, that was the review that sealed it for me last night, that I had to go see it this night, right now (I have a copy of Borat sitting here, so there were options). But damn, do I want to look like King Leonidas now. What a freaking hunk of flesh, huh? And if I could get away with that beard, you best be sure I’d have started growing it out already!
Don’t go in expecting Gladiator on Steroids; you’d be a little off the mark. It’s a pretty well-rounded feature, with some history to be had, some comedy, some blood, some style, and a barrel-full of testosterone holding it all together. I’ll give it an A-, because it was pretty damn entertaining.
How Chance & “I told you so” collide
So we ended up watching the film at AMC, who graciously partnered with Discover card, who we cashed in our bonus for some free tickets and free popcorn (Popcorn!). So while we were standing in line waiting to get in, I decided to go wait in another line for free popcorn (Popcorn!). Hey, one line’s as good as another, right?
So impeccably, I get back to the movie line and they start to filter us in. Great. We seat, the movie is going to begin, and what happens? My dumb self damn near chokes to death on free popcorn. You see, I have this awesome ability to eat popcorn without any hands, and I also happen to eat too damn fast (thank the military for that one, folks). And, sitting there as the lights dim, I find I have a kernel (or those little parts that you know what I’m talking about), and I keep hacking because it’s right in that spot where when you relax, you gag. You know, between the side of your tongue and your throat.
And, quite in contrast to what The Girl wanted of me, I declined to buy a drink to wash down the popcorn. So as I am hacking trying to stay alive, The Girl is giving me “the look” that means “you dumbass, I told you so.” Then I totally outsmarted the damn throat thing, and used more popcorn to wash it down. And know what? After one or two more bites, it actually worked. Who would have guessed?
New Hottest Thing
Chuck Norris Jokes. B-rated jokes for a B-rate actor. Thing is, unlike 99.9% of his movies… These work. My favorite thus far?
“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants”
Second Favorite? “When the Boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”
Peace.