So yesterday we learned/practiced some parrying moves & throws. They felt natural and good.

Tomorrow, I will conquer the class and then move to take over the world with my newfound abilities.



The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
I know that’s a mouthful, but it is actually, really-truly, the title of a movie that came out around October 2007. It stars Angelina Jolie’s supposedly handsome boyfriend, Brad Pitt.

It was a long movie. We started it last night because The Girl got home early and we were bored. It was a decently-good movie. The acting was good, and it kept you engaged, though it was what I might call a “quiet” film. I also saw for the second time in 3 movies the face of Casey Affleck. He did the part well.

I found the film slightly humorous in the way that it was framed. Well, humorous and enlightening.

I mean, “The Assassination” of Jesse James, by the “Coward” Robert Ford. So you know, Jesse James, the robber and murderer, was “assassinated” by the “Coward” who brought his reign to an end. Seems backwards, right? But that was the lore. James was like a Robin Hood in the tales. He wasn’t, and he killed innocent people, but that was apparently a lost point in the stories of the bandit.

So yeah, it was long & quiet, but overall well done. I say it gets a solid B.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment

Oh yeah! Totally forgot to mention the whole Iron Man thing.

It was a decent movie. I was surprised by the good reviews for it. I mean, it was an action/adventure, Superhero movie, you know? Anyway, the free tickets.

So yeah, a few months ago The Girl got these ticket coupons at work in lieu of a tip. Well, in lieu of a cash-money sort of tip, as it were. Well this was good and bad. Firstly it was good, because this was the free trip to see Iron Man, thereby alleviating the frustration of waiting to see it on Blu-Ray. Yay! Movie night out, and a decent show at that!

The movie was very appealing visually. I thought the special effects that they used were very well done. Contrast this with I Am Legend (not), which couldn’t special effect its way out of a paper bag. The story good enough, and even had a moral point that is completely relevant to today’s politics. And there was hot chicks, yeah baby! Many online have lauded Mr. Downey’s acting on the piece as worth the price of admission alone. I would say he didn’t screw anything up, and in fact wasn’t bad at all, but I’m not going to go so far as to say that it’s on par with Christian Bale’s rendition of Bruce Wayne in the new Batman franchise or anything, huh?

My only real gripe about the movie was that it was short. I mean it was slightly over 2 hours, but it felt short, and the end felt rushed. They could have used more of Iron Man in action, I felt. That would have been super-cool, they had pulled off the visuals right, they should have put more on the screen, you know? Give us 30 more minutes of Iron Man doing Iron Man stuff. We’ll love you for it!

Overall, I’d have to say that it’s a flat-B movie, on the verge of B+. Give us more action in the Blu-Ray release, and I’ll give you the coveted “+”.



The Bad side of the free tickets
Oh yeah, remember that? There was a downside to the free tickets. You see, these tickets were a $30 value, and included more than admission. We also got 2 large drinks, a large popcorn, and a large candy (which was medium at best, who are they trying to kid?) I didn’t have a problem with the popcorn or candy, but the drinks? Oh my, the drinks.

I damn near missed the last half of the movie. I had to pee so bad. I was doing the pee-pee dance in my seat. I had to tinkle oh so very badly. It was not right. I mean, where do they get off giving people drinks so big that they only serve to test the outer limits of your bladder?

Thankfully I did make it through the movie without peeing myself. Made it all the way to the bathroom actually, which I was very proud of. And there I peed so long that I almost fell asleep. You seen A League of Their Own? Yeah it was like Tom’s "performance" in that, except longer and without the breaks. It was an amazing feat, you should have been there.



Definitely worth the wait on Blu-Ray though
So about 10 minutes into the movie, the movie stops. The lights come on, the pre-movie stuff starts playing. Again. People in the audience were like, “is that it?” Yes you idiot, you paid $9 to see 15 minutes of movie and not ONE single Iron Man suit. Jeez people are dumb sometimes. DAMN!!!!...

Anyway, it starts back up once they figure out that they broke it (not sure how). The only thing was I think we missed 30 seconds to a minute’s-worth of movie. They were on the same scene, but different characters were on the screen than before, and in mid-sentence of something that I didn’t catch. Maybe Iron Man was gay? I just don’t know for sure now, and might not until it comes out on disc.



The VERY VERY End of the movie: Easter Egg?
I heard that if you wait past all the credits, there’s like a gold mine or something. A very cool gag-reel or something like that. Well they lied. There was something, but it was not really worth waiting for. So I’ll just spoil it for you right now, save you the time.

At the end, Iron Man comes home to Samuel Jackson, who’s the leader of SHIELD, the agency that tried to help cover up the tracks of Iron Man. He wants to talk to him about joining a program called “AVENGER.” This is comic book gold apparently, if you care. I don’t. They’ll either make a sequel or they won’t. Time will tell, not some slop at the end of the credits.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment

So we had time yesterday to pop Juno in and give it a go-around. You know, it’s that movie that has a young high school girl getting pregnant, and shenanigans ensue. No, not Saved!, that movie was funnier. This is the less-funny version.

It’s not bad, and I think it could have actually been better than Saved!, if only it had lost a little bit of the “edgy” dialogue in lieu of some more refined dialogue. See, I get that they’re young and all, and they maybe talk a little different, but it felt like the characters were forcing crap to escape their gums; it had no flow. It was not believable. I do not expect my 7-11 clerk to tell me my “Eggo is Preggo.”

And see the whole premise is that this young girl acts more mature than her age would imply. Except that damn language! She manages to sound like a 9 year-old that watches too much Nickelodeon in the most inappropriate of spots. Like meeting the family she’s going to let adopt her kid. That whole scene needed to be reshot, minus the schtick, in my opinion.

But hey, I say it wasn’t bad still. Those are just where they could have improved it some. It’s OK. I don’t see it as the dark horse of the year or anything though. It was an ‘alright’ flick that got maybe even more coverage than it deserved, I thought. I give it a B-. Hey I’m a generous soul.



Jujutsu
Ah yes, before the movie began, there was that; jujutsu. I had mentioned signing up for this before, right? Well last night was ‘the night,’ as it were. I got to go go my first class, and look like a royal ass and make “HEE-YAA!” sounds all over the place, and generally accomplish nothing, whilst still being sore to show for it.

Ought to be fun!

I’m not actually that sore, except for a spot on my hip joint that I could feel popping over and over again on a specific move we were learning. The Move? “The Samurai Walk.” The use? Looking silly. No really, that’s it. I hurt myself on a maneuver designed to make you look silly.

Could maybe be why I didn’t like Juno as much; perhaps I was too busy looking at all the characters, thinking “I could totally juju his ass to hell.”

Hey I can’t help it anymore; I’m now a highly-trained death machine.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment, Animals

OK so last time we talked about how using brown paper bags seems to work better than newspaper, right? OK so here’s another tip I discovered.

It was one of those “hey, I think I am on to something” moments. I tore off the top half of a brown paper bag to light the barbie, and this part when open looks like a big brown donut, right? Well I crumpled it up like it was, and put it in there like a small brown donut. The figuring was that this would keep the paper from snuffing out the flames below completely, allowing all the heat to hit the coals directly. See because now it’s a chimney all the way through, not a ceiling of paper and then a chimney.

Trust me, it works so very well; your coal will light so much faster & easier. Trust the ‘bob, OK? Give it a shot.



Dammit! I’m made a LIAR!
The Girl made me do it, OK? Not long after I posted the blog about waiting to see Iron Man on disc, she went and told me that we had two free tickets to the movies. Free. And, Tickets.

Of course now we have to go see Iron Man. Tonight. :-D.

Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes. I will be ready a little afterwards. Iron Man and I will meet in person about an hour later. Oh Yeah, baby.



Zoey went OUT today!
Well I wanted to take Miles out today, and Zoey wasn’t limping around nearly as much, and I wracked my brain figuring out what we could do about it. Well I figured a trip to the beach would be OK. The sand would be forgiving on her foot, MIles could still do everything he does, and we’d get out of the house.

It worked wonderfully. So wonderful in fact, that Zoey was running around full-tilt. Yeah, limp at home, go full-bore on the sand apparently. She had fun! She even went so far as to go swimming. Yeah, swimming. Zoey. Swimming.

So she’ll probably be a little sore later, but hey now she’s run off some energy and we know that she’s OK. Might have set her healing time back a day or two, but I would bet she thinks it was worth it.

Tags: Animals, earth conditions

Has gone. I gathered that it was not the creatine, but rather some serious sinus-cavity backup. I figured this because a few days prior to the headache I was having issues with my tooth aching, which I had hoped was a sinus/drainage issue and not a dentistry issue (because I loathe dentist trips even more than doctor visits). I noticed that as the toothache subsided, the headache began. Then they both started disappearing as my midnight breathing improved. So…


The Creatine
I’m went back on it. Going to give it a shot, see if my muscles just absolutely explode out from where they are. If I’m not ‘ahnold’ by July, then truly this stuff was a gimmick :-D



Zoey’s Foot Update
Well the foot wrap lasted just 24 hours from put on to stayed off. She lasted longer than we thought she would honestly, but eventually it was off. We figured that since she’s home-ridden until it’s better anyway, we’d see how she did with it off and not struggle about it. Well shortly after the wrap came off, so too did the little flap that was hanging on by a thread.

It seems to be healing well, though. She’s not really limping on it anymore, she’s still being cautious about it, but not overly so. In fact, we’re contemplating taking the dogs – that’s both of them – to the beach later this afternoon. See I figure the beach is a great place to test her out; it’s soft & forgiving, and there’s really just not much there for her to hurt herself on. The only worry is sand in the wound, but it’s mostly sealed off now, and that’s just a wash away from being a never-ran thought, so whatever.

I wish I would have taken a picture of it when it happened or when we got home and cleaned it up, so that you could see the progress it’s made. Sorry though, wasn’t thinking of it at the time.



Iron Man
This movie has been on my must see list since I saw the trailer. It looked fun, and I knew it was going to be a Summer blockbuster, so I wasn’t overly-concerned with the plot premises being weak, which I totally expected. Well it turns out I needn’t have feared at all.

The overall reviews for the film are far better than I had predicted. Now the trouble is trying to keep myself from having the “high expectations” mentality when I finally get around to seeing it. Which, of course, won’t be until it comes out on Blu-Ray. So, end of Summer?



Also looking forward to…
The Dark Knight. I hear that the teaser trailer in Iron Man is like 6 minutes long and has caused people to consider other religions, it’s so good. Which for me is actually enough reason to avoid Iron Man in the theatre. See I really really want to see The Dark Knight, and I have since I saw Batman Begins even. But I fear they’re hyping it too much (see “high Expectations”). Not only that, but they’ve gone so far with the whole Exclusive Trailer bit that I’m afraid I will have seen the whole movie by the time it comes out this Summer, and ends up on Blu-Ray this Winter when I will actually watch it.

Anyone else feel me on that?



Don’t f*ck with Cyclones/Hurricanes
Myanmar was recently hit hard, some are expecting the toll of dead to reach well over 10,000. WOW. That royally sucks.

But yeah, I’ll gladly take the occasional earthquake over the yearly thousands of dead and billions in rebuilding, thanks.

By the way, did you know that Cyclones & Hurricanes and whatnot are really the same thing? Just a different name depending on what ocean they stem from. Kinda weird. I know a lot of people that think that cyclones are something much worse than hurricanes. Nope!

Peace.

Tags: Animals, earth conditions

F*cking f*ck this f*cking headache is killing me
I am now on day four of this damn throbbing headache. No creatine yesterday! May not be the culprit. Whatever it is though, is pissing me the hell off. Four days. FOUR DAYS! No workout today though. Just in case it’s a “sick” thing instead of truly a “headache” thing. You never know.



Zoey cut her foot real bad
We took the dogs out to the local delta yesterday. All was well until we got ready to leave. We took a few steps from where we were sitting, and I turned around and noticed she was now limping, and her paw was covered in red. Let me tell you:

A 40lb dog is not really all that heavy. A 40lb dog you have to carry ½-mile is a freaking lead ton. She had sliced her foot on something – I am not sure what – and was bleeding bad enough. It obviously hurt, so I opted to be the goody daddy and carry her back, so that it would alleviate her pain and also keep the wound clean. Well, cleaner.

I had to stop a few times, though. Take a breather.

It was a clean cut. She got herself on something sharp, I would suspect glass except I saw none from where we were to where she was cut. But she cut her main pad, took off a piece about ½-inch long and ¼-inch deep. Hanging on by a thread. I figure that it’s going to fall off, because there’s so little holding it on at the moment, but we left it there just in case it ‘fuses’ back. Right now it lies cleaned, neosporined, and wrapped.

I actually expected her to throw a fit about having her foot wrapped. She’s been OK with it. Surprising. Hopefully she recovers quickly, because I have no plans to take her out until she’s 100% in that regard. Will probably be a while though.



Gone Baby Gone
Watched this last night. It’s not too bad! I rather liked the movie itself, though the whole premise about it is really a question of whether the means justify an end. In the case of the plot line of this movie, I think I would have left well-enough alone, where the main character could not. I’m not going to say too much about it. It’s not going to bring a tear to people’s eyes as they contemplate the new direction of cinema that this film did not bring to Hollywood. It’s not going to make the AFI’s top 100. But it’s good. I’d say it’s easily B+ material, almost maybe an A, but not quite.

The lead actor is a man named Casey Affleck. As you may have guessed, this is a relative to Ben Affleck. His younger brother, to be precise. And let me tell you, you can tell. They look quite similar. To me, Casey looks like Ben probably looked when he was 20 or something. He’s got that kid-face going on, you know what I mean?

Anyway, worth checking out. Despite its morbid premise, I found that I burst out in laughter at a few spots. I was the only one to do this, which made me quite glad we rented it instead of going to a theatre. Apparently my humor is a bit off. I knew this already, but the audience might have been a little disgusted. F- ‘em.

Peace.

Tags: Animals

So true to my word, we popped in The Usual Suspects last night for a good time. I had seen it before, but it was long ago and I was curious as to whether or not I thought it was still a decent movie. Crap, it was originally released in 1995. That’s like forever ago.

Anyway, the 2008 viewing… We watched, it ended, and we thought about it. I thought about it a lot. Have you seen the film? They’re questioning a guy about a mass murder scene in San Pedro, CA. He’s this cripple, and he’s got immunity but there’s some local and other law officials that want to question him anyway. So he tells them a story. And then it ends. And you learn that that’s all it was; a story he told.

Which left me with questions. You see, the thing is our only window into “the story” is that which Kevin Spacey tells us. So, if it’s just a story, then really there’s nothing the audience really knows. What happened? How are we supposed to know what really happened versus what was just made up? I mean, you can wash away any discrepancies in the film just by saying “yeah but he was just telling the cops a story,” but then it really makes the film pointless. And that bothers me. Because then, why watch it? We watch, we want to know the “real” deal, what really transpired, and what story he’s told to cover his tracks. I think about it, and I don’t have any respect or admiration for the main character.

And I mean, if he’s as awesome as he’s purported to be, why bother telling a story? He’s got immunity and really the whole premise of the movie fails immediately, because they start by telling us he’s got immunity. So how do they get him to talk? He’s got nothing to say really, and no need to say it. Why bother…

It’s not a bad movie, but for me once you’ve seen it it really is a lot worse than it should be. I’ll give it a straight C. It really could have been better, if they hadn’t used the “twist ending” to justify the rest of the entire film.



Wax On. Let set and dry. Wax Off.
So I have talked about it before, but now I think it’s going to happen. The other day I cut out of a dinner date with The Girl early, as she was actually at work and I was making her serve me food, and went to check out a Dojo just down the street. They have classes thrice weekly, and it’s going to run about $65 monthly for me, or $100 monthly for both. The Girl might join, she’s kinda interested in the idea.

So yeah, the forearm isn’t quite back to 100%, but it’s getting pretty close, and I think I’m going to go for it. Oh, and I also learned that it’s “jujutsu,” not “ju-jitsu” so apparently I’m an idiot. Actually not quite. I sort of cross-pollenated two different brands of martial arts is what happened. “jujutsu” is the original art form that dates back to feudal Japan. Then there’s also "Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu” which is, um, Brazilian. They’re similar, and in fact related, so you can see where I may have made this boo-boo: drop the I, and we’re done!



Elitist? Probably just honest
I really don’t want to have to jump ship, but Clinton’s making it hard. You heard the guff over Barack’s “Elitist” comments? I read all of them. They’re not that bad. And quite honestly I agree, and I think he’s got the right idea as to the why’s of certain people’s discontent.

And then Clinton & McCain both go and jump on the guy. Know what? I want to hear their ideas for a lot of American’s discontent then. What, do they think it’s because they are unhappy with their cable TV offerings? What do they think it is then?

More than anything, I think that there’s this big divide between reality and TV reality. Obama’s right, dammit, but so are Clinton & McCain, in that you can’t actually say that stuff aloud. That’s something that you discuss behind closed doors with friends and advisors; it’s the elephant in the room, you know? We all see it, but no one is allowed to talk about it. The elephant? The reach of the Military-Industrial Complex into our living rooms. Sure it may not be making bombs, it may even look gentle, but the idea that gov’t has not only tied its constituents to the business machine, but actually gone so far as to sell them out to it is oh so very real. People don’t see it like that all the time, but it’s the reality: we’re ‘just’ consumers for the machine, so that those atop can live the life while we chase the carrot on the stick.

Yeah, shame on Obama for mentioning it…

Peace.

Tags: Politics

If you’ve seen the first one, you’ve seen the last one, only better. There’s things that strike me, though.

Like, how full of himself Mr. Stallone must really be. I mean, he really wants people to root for him real bad. He wants to be everyone’s hero, which I can understand myself, but man… 6 movies? About a chump named Rocky? More than anything, it seemed to me that Rocky 7,000 or whatever was mostly a vehicle for him to show us how good the HGH is doing for him.

It wasn’t bad, but there was some corny sh!t. Like, stuff that was just in there so show a soft spot or to justify #7,001 or whatever episode this was. Aw, his wife died. Aw, his kid is a chump. Aw, he still hangs out with his wife’s loser brother. Well sh!t, take your shirt off and beat a black man! That’ll make it all better!

Speaking of chump kids, this Milo Guy is really kind of a shitty actor. I mean, he kinda gets by as a two-bit act on Heroes (that Lost Clone I no longer watch), but to me it seemed he really stunk up the big screen. It wasn’t all his fault, they wrote him in as a real bitch of a character, but he didn’t help matters any. Every time he spoke I felt that I should yawn or change the channel or something, look for a commercial maybe. Kinda hard when you’re watching a disc.

It’s completely passable. And by that I do not mean that it passes as a watchable flick so much as I mean that it can totally be bypassed and not only will life continue to dredge on, but it might actually be a little rosier. I’ll give it some bonus points for the Rocky Theme Music, because that totally rocks, but still it’s pulling up the rear with a paltry D+.



Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
We rented this movie because I stumbled across it on the list of available titles. We had wanted to see it when it first came out, but somehow managed to forget about it entirely. What a shame too, because it’s actually quite good!

Well it was to me, anyway. The Girl did not so much care for it as the random bob did. I thought it was darkly funny, had a good story that kept you engaged, and the acting was overall well-acted…? No but it was, with the possible exception of the main character. Robert Downey Jr is a passable actor, but having seen him in this and also A Scanner Darkly recently, I can’t figure out why they went and cast him for the lead in the upcoming Iron Man movie. It still looks hella-cool, but I’m just not sure that he’s the best choice for it is all. He was annoying enough as a supporting character in “Darkly,” and although better in “Bang Bang,” I could see someone else doing a better job.

Anyway, back to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Look, I think you should see it. It’s got a good plot. The acting’s good. And if you care or need it, there’s a hot chick in it that bares her breasts. I didn’t think it needed it, but hey I’m not going to turn my eyes, either. It may not change cinema, but not many do. Still though, A solid “A”-film I think.



American Psycho
Where to begin with this movie. I just don’t know…. OK, got it.

The acting was good. It has a decent-enough cast, headed up by Christian Bale, whom I hate out of pure jealousy (him & Ryan Reynolds). And he delivers a great performance. But the thing was, I just didn’t care. As in, despite the good shows, nothing really drew me in. I just didn’t care about what was happening on the screen. Not a lick. Was kinda hoping it would end soon so I could just go to bed or something.

Now who’s fault is that? The storywriters? The Director? Editors? Maybe all. I just don’t know really, I can’t put my finger on what exactly it was that I didn’t really care about. I mean I guess it’s perhaps that there’s no real development of the main character. They introduce him as being crazy and knowing it, but there’s no background as to why he’s this way. And you watch the movie, sort of thinking that there will be some sort of climax and resolution (as this is typically what makes a story tick). Yet there is none. It ends. And worse, it ends and leaves you with questions that aren’t even hinted at through the film.

Was he crazy? Did he just imagine all the things he did? Did he do them and people just covered up for him? Hard to say, kind of ambiguous. Hellaciously ambiguous, actually. And that always irks me. There’s a rare few films I like that leave you “guessing” at the end. You have to do it right. Total Recall comes to mind (was it all real? Or was it the dream he asked for?). Basic Instinct was OK. I don’t know, it seems there’s a ton of films in the wasteland that tried to pull it off and failed. And to that list, I have to add American Psycho.

I can’t rate it any better than a straight C. It’s not that good. But if you had to sit and watch it, you could. Just, uh, try not to notice the hooker’s horrible haircut. It’s bad. Real bad.



And that concludes our Movie Reviews…
I thought I’d through these up right quick, before I had to come and say that I had no seen 4 movies and not said anything about them. Tonight after dinner we watch The Usual Suspects. It stars Kevin Spacey, back when we was making good movies instead of crap movies. I’ve seen it before, but it’s been a long time, and quite honestly I wasn’t following along all that well at the time. Hey, I was young and stupid then.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment, hate

I have seen three movies since last I updated; you’ll notice that there haven’t been any reviews. They are forthcoming.

What were the special flicks? One was Rocky Balboa, another was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and the other was American Psycho.



How they came to be
The first two showed up as they should have, from Netflix. The third was a surprise last night, as we didn’t have any movies scheduled to show up. And it wasn’t from Netflix.

When we bought our Blu-Ray Player oh-so long ago, they were running a promotion for 5 free movies. Hell I like free. So yeah we filled out the paperwork, sent away… and waited. And waited some more. We waited for so long we damn-near forgot that at some point we were supposed to get free movies.

Until yesterday, when they finally showed up. Yay us!



The others are… (drumroll please)
We also received Chain Reaction, S.W.A.T., Swordfish, & The Prestige. All except for The Prestige are born losers, of course. This was not our fault.

5 free movies sounds like a lot of fun. Except they don’t give you any 5 free movies of your choice. Oh no, they have 5 “categories,” if you will, and you have to select one from each of the 5 “categories,” as they were. Now these aren’t “categories” as in Horror, Action, etc. No, these are “categories” like A- choose from these 4 sucky movies, B-choose from these 7 sucky movies, C-choose from these 5 corny-ass sucky movies, etc.

So as you see, we did the best we could. Hey I’m just glad something the caliber of The Prestige was even on the list.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment, hate

We ran out of things to do on Monday night, so we popped into the video store down the street and rented Atonement. It’s set in WWII-era England, involving a love story gone awry. Two lovers, torn apart by the vindictive accusations of a little girl, separated by time in jail and a horrific war, but most of all by the jealousy of a young girl.

It’s a good movie almost all the way around. We were actually warned by The Girl’s grandmother just before we sat to plop it in, that it a) wasn’t all that good, and b) there was some ‘raunchy’ sex scene in a kitchen. Now, we usually take movie recommendations from her with a grain of salt, if not a shaker-full. Good thing, too because she wasn’t quite right on either front. Firstly, the movie’s not that bad. It’s overall a fairly well-done flick, if a little rough at the end.

Secondly, the raunchy sex scene? In the Library, not the kitchen. And furthermore, it wasn’t even raunchy! Odd perhaps, but far from raunchy. I’ve seen raunchier on TV. This was not raunchy. It was actually kind of understated & intriguing.

For me, the worst part of the movie was the ending. You go along with the story, you hope they find each other, then it seems they did. But then you quickly learn that they never did, they died, and the part you just saw was the imagination of the vindictive little girl – now 143 years old – in her new novel, Atonement, an “autobiography” of her horrible act. She explains in an interview that those moments were in fact how she wrote it out of her imagination, to give them the time together they never had (because the died, victims of the war, a continent apart).

That sucks enough, but then she keeps talking, and it keeps sucking more. Oh now she tells us that she doesn’t think of it as a cheap ploy, a copout, she thinks its what they would have wanted. You know, for her to be a famous writer at the expense of their love & lives. Yeah, they wanted to die apart. So you could ‘imagine’ them together. Yeah.

Newsflash: It IS a cheap ploy. It WAS a copout. You ARE a raving bitch. And this catastrophic ending, in which you teased us with happiness – no, gave it to us and then ripped it from our grasp – was a complete disaster. We’d have rather have just received the bitter ending without the soft buildup.

But aside from the ending, it’s quite alright, cheerio! I’d give it a straight B.



F’ed up Celebrities we’re allowed to mention, part 2
So one star in this film is well-known for her good looks. Not so much known for her f*cked up eye, though. Yeah, Keira Knightley has a f*cked up eye I noticed, and again, it seems no one is allowed to mention it. It struck me – like, popped out of the screen and almost hit me – in a café scene where she meets her lover after a 3-year hiatus that he spent in prison. She’s standing there in her blue ‘thing’ that she’s wearing, and her face just fills up the screen with a “deer in the headlights” sort of look. And that’s when it almost hit me: her left eye is noticeably bigger and higher than her right. I mean, the camera was slightly off-center to her right, making that eye closer to the screen to begin with, yet still her left eye just dominated the screen. It was eerie. Or, well, eye-ie or something.

Not saying she’s not a beauty, no one’s perfect, but still, why can’t these things be mentioned?

I mean honestly, her eye doesn’t really bother me. But MAN, Joaquin’s f*cked up shoulders bug the living hell out of me.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment

Netflix sent this our direction and we partook of it. It’s not too bad. It’s a crime drama, there’s really not much more to say about it. It’s not breaking new ground. The Russian Mafia is sneaking in dope to New York, the cops are trying to stop it, war ensues. Nothing new.

There were a few irritating parts, though. It’s hard to explain without giving the whole movie as background, but if you were in a car behind two cars having a shootout, and one was your friends & the others were not? Would you merely speed up to see it? Or would you, say, try to spin the other car out? Well apparently we only get the option to watch here.

And the final act. You’d think that if cops had a place surrounded, this would mean they had the place surrounded. Apparently not. Nope, here, surrounded means “ok we’re at the front door, please don’t a) shoot at us or b) run out the back doors, thanks.” So yeah there’s a few little dumb things, but the one thing that bothered me most about it was Joaquin Phoenix trying to become a cop…

It's OK. It's not the best, not the worst, yet as much as it's viewable, it's also passable. I say C+. It's a fair assessment. I'm being fair on that.



F’ed up Celebrities we're not allowed to mention, Part 1
Why is it that no one talks about Joaquin’s fucked up shoulder? I was curious as to what it was, but there’s, like, nothing I could find about it. Like it’s a taboo subject or something. Or like everyone’s trying to pretend that no one notices.

Yeah right! C’mon, it’s plain as day! He has a f*cked up left shoulder, dammit! He can’t be a cop! He can’t pass the physical! What the hell!? Why does all of Hollywood ignore this fact?

I want to see a parody of his Johnny Cash Performance in Walk the line. You know how they replayed over & over that “hello, I’m Johnny Cash” line? Yeah well I want to see a skit where someone comes out being him being Cash, and says, “Hello, I have a f*cked up shoulder.”

Can we at least admit it’s there? We can all see the elephant, right?



Archives updated
OK so I did finish my updating of the Archive. However, I did get a little lazy about it. Well, not really lazy, just all historical and stuff.

See, there were some entries I came across that the links were simply too good to get rid of, and there were too many to worry about reformatting everything. Blogs like this one, about Michael Jackson’s 50-foot tall robot with lasers for eyes. So I compromised. I did reformat the spacing to match, but I left the text as it was. So some entries will be a slightly different size & font.

And for the record, I’m never going to do this again. They’re stayin the way they are. That was too damn boring, and I’ll be damned if I ever do that again.

Peace.

Tags: Technology

Today’s movies are in large part not up to this task. It’s hard to remember the last movie I saw that I thought was good. The Departed? It was a good movie. What the hell do I recall since then? Well there was The Prestige that came out, but that was the same damn month in 2006 so that doesn’t count.

A SAMPLE MOVIES I DEARLY LIKE

• The Departed

• LA Confidential

• There’s something About Mary

• Snatch

• Cast Away

• 300

• Shrek (Original only)

• Batman Begins

• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

• The Prestige

• Wedding Crashers

• The Matrix

• When Harry Met Sally

• Shawshank Redemption

• Way of the Gun

• Apocal