blackmail & the Norcal Thing
Jun 20, 2007 / 04:06 PM Filed in: Personal | Business Themes
What’s the going rate?What’s a good, fair amount to charge for blackmail & extortion these days? I ask because I got something in the mail recently from an adoption agency.
OK, before you freak out, thinking I’m going to adopt a kid and hold him for ransom, just take another swig and relax while I explain.
I have some friends that have been trying for a while to have a baby. And – as you might have guessed – trying for a while usually means a lack of success. Well, they decided that seeing as how there are so many kids in the world who are already here and don’t have homes and hope and all, they’d concentrate their efforts on adopting a child (yay!). Well I guess the day is approaching, because I received a letter from the adoption agency asking for my personal input about these peeps.
So clearly there’s money to be made here. After all, I’d hate to see these lovely people totally get shafted, you know? I mean, I’d never knowingly do anything to sabotage their efforts, but I can’t be there every step of the way, either. What if someone were to, say, take my envelope out of the mail and replace it with one that says nasty things? How could I be responsible for that?
So, what? Does $1,000 sound fair? You know, as a security deposit, to ensure that the envelope makes it to its destination safely. It’s a nice, round, soft figure, I think, and after all, what’s the life of a child worth? At least a few thousand, so it’s quite a bargain, to boot!
You Sick Bastard
Yes I know; you’re wasting your time. Move along.
2 Days. 2 Days & counting
Until I’m officially unemployed for at least about 1 month. Because at this point, I don’t think I’m going to have that convenient job with my current employer. What dicks. Eh, like I’ve said before: their loss! Ha.
They’ll have a couple of weeks to think about it, as I’m filling out paperwork for my other employer, and searching for a place to live. Which, btw, is like the hardest thing ever to do. Don’t try to move where I’m going unless you live there already. That seems to be key – if you’re there, you’re golden. It’s like a cult, and I’m on the wrong side of the divide. And I really REALLY want to be a cult member.
If only I had sacrificed that lamb when I had the chance. Oh well.
Peace.