After my rant about photography the other day, I found myself checking out the new iWork info over at Apple’s website. Know what I think I’ve hit on? I like to be creative. I don’t really have a need to buy (or rather, upgrade) this software. I did once upon a time, when I was still in college. And I miss it. I miss the opportunity to create things. I thoroughly enjoyed putting things together and impressing others.

Now what do I do? It’s not as if I’m necessarily bored or anything, but I have a deep desire or drive to be the best at whatever it is I do. Why? Why the competitive streak? I have no idea. It is what it is, I guess. And now it dawns on me, this is why people get involved so heavily in extra curricular activities – they’re bored, and need a creative outlet to make themselves feel valuable & ingenious. I guess I’ll have to find myself a hobby.

Maybe photography or something ☺



Plan for a Hobby
Actually, when I get a more “fixed” schedule at my new job, I have plans to take up Tae Kwon Do or something. Ju-Jitsu. Yoga. Chess. Something.

But probably not Chess. Or Yoga. Neither of those would help me to defeat Jason Bourne or John Rambo (Rambo would totally kick Bourne’s ass, btw).



And my computer needs a use, too
There shouldn’t be a need to ask, but I really really like using my computer (because it’s a Mac is the answer to the question “why?”). And I enjoy being creative with it, because I can make whatever I can think of, from beautiful photographs to nailed-down reports to flyers to letters to – well, anything really.

And I don’t want this little blog to be it, dammit, I want to to take over the world with it or something. Cure cancer. Rid the world of hunger. Dispel racism. Maybe thwart republican-ism, that’d be a worthwhile endeavor. Something. I want a newer-faster-better computer, but more than that, I want to need a newer-faster-better computer. Does that make sense to you all?



Why Rich, Famous people try to kill themselves
Owen Wilson hospitalized after 911 called for “Suicide Attempt”

Clearly the answer is money doesn’t buy happiness.

But what strikes me as odd is that though this may be true (or so they say – I’ve not had the chance to test it out) I haven’t seen any Famous, Rich people at my door to give me all their evil, evil cash. And clearly, they should be doing this. Time to call a few publicists or something.

Peace, all you poor, happy people.

Tags: Politics, Technology

Through many phone calls and references, we found someone who was not the dog’s owner, but has lived around here their entire life and sort of has a knack for finding lost dogs (or having them find her) and reuniting beast with master.

She’s sweet on animals, so we felt comfortable letting her take the dog with, and hopefully she’ll find the family who’s missing her or another good fit. Because the family that’s missing her really should have cared enough to put tags on the dog, huh? One would think.



Why I love “The Matrix”
Yes I know the film’s like 10 years old now (can you believe that?), but I just got through watching it a couple of days ago and I must say that to me, it’s the de facto standard for science fiction flicks.

Most science fiction movies sort of force you to accept a certain level of disbelief in order to swallow it. Star Wars? OK, so in a galaxy far far away, everyone is human. Yeah…. But with The Matrix? They have everything covered. It’s so cleanly devised, there’s really no way you can say “Yeah but it’s not real,” because by its very design it could be. They explain nuances of our existence such as Déja vu. They explain how the existence we accept as reality is really just a construct designed to have us believe that as truth. It’s so unbelievably perfect, that you’d swear that there’s no way a silly sci-fi action flick could be the first to develop such a concept.

And you’d be right. The concept is many, many, many, many, MANY years old. It’s been around for many a century, played with by the philosopher Decartes & Aristotle, as well as others. The basic concept is called the “Brain-in-a-Vat.” There’s still holes in this theory too, but it’s been the basis of many an argument for human rationale & our perceptions of reality & how our interactions define it (is the Matrix real? What is real?).

You can sit & watch this movie, and be completely enthralled with what’s going on, and not have any moments where you think “yeah but the idea of this is preposterous,” or “that’s too unbelievable to swallow,” because they are essentially giving you the reality you know, then explaining to you in succinct fashion that your reality is a lie, and explain how what you're seeing is in reality, reality. Sweet.

Most sci-fi’s don’t explain anything. There’s a big hole right at the beginning where you just accept that all aliens look like humans & talk english, or that necromongers kill all aliens that are not them (who all look human), or that aliens from Mars (which has no living, complex life forms) appear to eat our brains (Martians just happen to need to eat brain cells of humans, a species on a completely different planet? What a coincidence, huh?). There’s no “far far way,” no “in the future,” no “special training ops” or anything like that. It’s the reality you’ve been told to believe, and philosophically it’s dead on.

OK, so the 2nd and 3rd films are a little flimsy & preachy & weak; they weren’t supposed to be made, and besides I didn’t say ‘why I love The Matrix Trilogy’ I said just ‘The Matrix’ and was very measured in that.

I know what I’m talking about here, OK? I got an A in philosophy.

But to mention it one more again: this film is almost 10 years old. Does it really seem like it was that long ago to you? Seems like a few or so to me, not nearly a decade passed. Must be getting old.

Oh well. Peace.

Tags: Entertainment

We can’t keep her. We’re already pushing our luck with two dogs of our own, one of which is probably half Pit Bull (we’re really not sure). And she’s not house trained, clearly the case as she’s been bouncing off the couch, bed, us, and occasionally the walls too.

Tags: Animals

Yesterday me & The Girl went up to Trinidad (view album over here). It’s supposed to be pretty cool, and I guess it is pretty & all, but it’s just not my style. For those of you from So Cal not familiar with Trinidad, it’s kinda sorta like Laguna Beach. And if you’re not from So Cal and therefore don’t know Laguna Beach or Trinidad, just think pretty place on a beach with cliffs & such.

It’s pretty, don’t get me wrong, but it’s like a quaint little retirement community. And there’s no land to really be had. I like where I am is I guess what I’m saying. The beaches are prettier there for sure, but – and this is the real thing for me – beaches are a place to visit, even if it’s daily, not a place to live at. I want land, cows, horses, birds, and penguins (yes I’m still on that kick). Cows & horses don’t do too well eating sand I reckon, and I want to tend my home & gardens & prairies. I just want them surrounded by Redwoods & flanked by the beach.

We’re probably going to trek back up there soon, take the dogs so they can have some fun. The beach there is a little calmer, so Miles will be able to swim out farther than he can where we are now. He likes the waves & all, but it’ll be a nice change of pace. Maybe he can swim out to one of the islands or something! That’d be cool as hell.



Crescent City’s next
We’ve yet to make it up to Crescent City, though we intend to. Trinidad isn’t an all-day affair, and we didn’t have all day yesterday. Next time we’re both off for a day or so, we’ll try to plan a trip to all-day Crescent City. And this time, we’ll bring hiking boots.

Yeah, we both took shoes that weren’t really cut out for what we ended up doing in Trinidad, namely hiking the small trail head they have. We decided that next time we go anywhwere, we take 3 pairs of shoes: flip-flops, hiking boots, and comfy shoes, so we’re prepared for anything. And quite honestly, I think that the beaches @ Crescent City will have us switching from flip-flops to hiking boots as we go, so they’re going to be a must.



Questioning my photography
I LOVE photography. And it’s weird that now that I live in one of the most picturesque locales imaginable, I’m questioning whether I want to continue the endeavor. Well, let me clarify that: I’m questioning whether I want to continue trying to get really good with good equipment any longer. I may just invest in a pocketable do-it-all style digital camera and leave it at that.

It’s hard, because I realize more & more that I’m NOT going to make myself into a successful photographer & make any money at it. What I do is done over & over 100 times better by people who’ve been doing it forever with background & training & everything else I don’t have. No one’s going to go “oh wow, you’re a photographic genius; please let me pay you BUKU bucks for some prints.” It’s just not going to happen. And in a sense, I’m in over my head already in this regard. I have a camera I paid $700 for, plus two lenses, paid another $149 for specialty software to process the images, had to buy a larger card to store the larger RAW images on, etc. I like taking photos, but at what cost?

I spend a lot of time & effort making the most of what I have. I find I really need a faster computer to process the images I take with my equipment, but for what? They are most likely just going to sit cataloged on my Hard Drive, never having a viewing. And those that do get viewed will most likely get shown on galleries like these online – and I don’t need the capability to print 2-ft by 3-ft prints to do that. Part of me wants more power, more pixels, so I can have the ability to blow it up to 4-ft by 6-ft, but I have no real need to do that. Those newer, bigger files will just sit on my hard drive still, doing the same thing the other 4.000-odd photos are doing – namely, sitting pretty without an audience, because as pretty as they are, there’s prettier out there, and no matter what I can’t afford to play with the Big Dogs at that kind of level.

And it’s not that I think I’m bad. I actually think I’m pretty good, and have a natural “eye” for good shots. It’s just that what I prefer to shoot – candid photos, abstract artistic stuff, nature shots – is so overdone by so many people that there’s really just no space to compete. I don’t shoot models; I have no formal training in it, nor do I want any. My skills will not net me a photo assignment with National Geographic; I will not be shooting Bikini-clads for Sports Illustrated, nor have my name next to any copyright symbols for Nike ads. So what’s the point of having a $1,300 camera with a $900 lens that can capture with wicked clarity a fantastic shot that I could print almost 6-ft tall and hang on a wall? It’s NOT going to be hanging on a wall, unless I hang it on mine & I’m already out of walls. It’s probably only ever going to be displayed here on this website, and quite honestly a decent quality all-in-one prosumer camera would do just fine for how my work will actually be put to use.

I guess in some sense it’s just that I want to be a great photographer. I love doing it, but I can’t justify the expense to do what I want when chances are I can’t even really do it, and will never get a return on it. Ansel Adams isn’t going to be replaced by random bob, a.r.c. anytime soon, know what I’m sayin’?

Hey I’m just ranting. Maybe it won’t matter because soon I’ll have enough money to blow on it anyways. Probably not. But maybe I’ll make use of it somehow. I mean, I enjoy it, right? So if I could do something with it, say local shows or even just small things for friends it may make it worth it in some sense, if not monetarily. Time will tell. Until then, I already have a camera, the software, and I’ll probably get the computer anyways (because I’m a slight techie), so it’ll be a back-burner kind of question going into the future. What do you guys think? Honest opinions only.

Oh, by the way, that photo at the top is me at work ☺

Peace.

Tags: Technology

Wanna not piss off your wait staff? Here’s some helpful hints to avoid getting the ol’ “spit in the food” gag pulled on you. Being all but married to a waitress, I have the privy of being spoken to almost nightly about what people have done to get “blacklisted,” as well as other things that border on stereotypical. Hell, who are we kidding? They are stereotypical.

• Don’t tell them how much you’re going to tip, because you’re a big tipper. This doesn’t work, and every waitress & waiter knows you’re lying; big tippers don’t tell you how much they’re going to tip, only cheap bastards who don’t plan on leaving tips.

• Don’t smile and pretend everything is OK when the waitress asks, then complain to the manager. It doesn’t strengthen your case when trying to get free food. All it does is get you “blacklisted” by the wait staff. You don’t want that to happen.

• In that vein, don’t try to pull the whole “it isn’t cooked enough/cooked too much/has the wrong fries” thing in order to get your meal comped. Look, it’ll work most of the time, but if you plan to ever return to the establishment, being blacklisted is not a thing you want. The wait staff gets dinged when you do this, so your selfish desire actually hurts the people serving you, even if you don’t intend it. The Girl used to work at a place that had a sort of “three strikes & your out” policy; get dinged 3 times, get the can. You want that on your conscience?

• Your wait staff gets taxed on the tips you leave them. So, NO, they are not making an over-abundance of money. The problem is compounded when you pay & tip with credit card, and do so badly. Because they have to claim a certain percentage of their sales, but then they also have to “tip out” their helpers – the bus boys & cooks. So you tip $3 on 20. They have to claim 20% of the food bill, so they get taxed on $4. But they are only taking home $2 of it, because some of it goes to the bussers, and some go to the cooks.

• Don’t be mexican. For whatever reason, mexicans almost never tip the customary amount, and most of the time fail to even meet half that obligation. When you go out, think about how much you’re going to spend, then figure in the tip as well. If you can’t afford the T-bone and the associated tip, then perhaps opt for the grilled chicken, huh?

• Separate checks. Big no-no. Some restaurants are better than others at making it easier for the wait staff to work with these, but it's always a pain in the butt. Here's an idea; bring cash, and try to remember all that 3rd grade math you learned way back in 3rd grade; divide the check up yourself. If it's a must (say, you each are paying with credit card), at the least mention it BEFORE they take your order. And it it's split more than 3 ways... well, don't split it more than 3 ways. Someone's getting some spit otherwise.

• Don’t be black. For whatever reason, African-Americans almost never tip the customary amount. Not only that, but they’re typically rude, hit on you (even if you're married), and expect $100 service for $10, but they’re going to argue about that too, and probably only pay $4.99.

Tags: Entertainment, women

Found the new site, did you? Good! That’s good! Unfortunately, there’s not much more here for you right now than there was on the old site, sorry…. ☹

But that’ll change soon enough. The other site will no longer be updated; all new content will appear here solely, so consider this an investment that pays off in the future.

And don’t forget to change any bookmarks you had to reflect www.randombob.net.

OK now? Goodie.



One minor SNAFU
Moving out to the REAL web necessitated some changes. Namely, if you've frequented my prodigital galleries webpage, you'll be saddened (maybe?) to know that they're not up anymore. I had to move things around in order to get THIS site hosted. Not much of a loss, though. It's not like it was really doing anything for me. I'll probably just make an account on smugmug and be done with it. Then, if I DO get famous, I'll revist the idea of putting up my own dedicated picture site.

Peace.

You know, it’s a long time in the making. And like most aliases & nicknames, it has roots that span a few generation of friends & locales.

It all started when I was in the military. Every time something wasn’t right or someone did something that was “messed up” in some way, when no one knew who it was and we were all looking at each other like “duh….” I’d say something to the effect of “dammit! Bob’s doing it again, dammit,” and everyone would look at me like I was retarded.

Because no one knew a Bob. We didn’t have any around us. Not a one that I can recall. Bob was a construct. Bob was no one, he was everyone, and he was both at the same time. Why did I pick the name bob to assign to this “Not Me” personality? Because it’s so plain, ordinary and unsuspecting that it was always everything anti- whatever was going on. “Bob” doesn’t snipe people from 1,000 yards away. “Bob” is bald, wears glasses, and does your taxes. “Bob” can’t lift 4 loaded gun racks and dump them somewhere else, “Bob” carries a hankie and has his mom open the jars he can’t budge.

Yeah, so “Bob” was the logical choice for a name if your goal is to be ridiculous. Which mine was.

As time went on, friends began to anticipate the “Bob,” and it caught on. I was the “Bob” guy. And eventually, “Bob” was me, in a sense. “What’s up, Bob?” people would say to me. Nuthin’ much. And this carried over to my days after the military, as well. So when it came time to create a web presence, “Bob” seemed a logical choice.



I’m sorry, did anyone ask? Why are you sharing?
Because I spent the $6.95 it cost to get my own domain, and I thought that I’d explain why you’ll be navigating to www.randombob.net from now on. Yeah, that’s right, folks, I have a web presence all my own!

Turns out, bob.com is taken, as is bob.net, and bob.org, et al. So what’s a good way to describe myself otherwise, in context of Bob? Well, the name is random, describing any random person, such as Bob. Randombob. So that’s about the start & the end of that story. The a.r.c. is born out of other roots, but I won’t digress those to just anyone. But that got tacked on the end, because as time goes on, I find there’s MORE randombobs online than just I. And this Bob is unique, so that’s just a differentiation, really. Heh. A “unique” random Bob. That’s what they call an pimply idiot.

Or oxymoron.




No, really people
That’s where you’ll be going from now on. Bookmark that site, because that’s the new place, OK? Yeah!

Peace.

Tags: Technology

Yes, yes I did. I changed the layout. I tell people it was to make it easier to navigate for people who are either unfamiliar with the concept of “Mouse-Over” lists, but honestly it’s just part of my Word Domination Plans. So far I’m still on Plan ‘A.’



Why’s this page different, though?
You may have noticed that this blog page is slightly different from the others. The colors & content design are about the same, but the sidebar & navigation menu are flipped to the other side. Why? No reason, I just wanted to set the blog apart a little bit from the rest of the site. I think it solves that pretty well, eh? Not to worry, for the ONE or TWO people that actually patron this place, this is nothing like the blog changeover of a few months ago; all the content is right where it was before, nothing’s moved, just the layout is different. Enjoy!



Back to the regularly scheduled blog
I couldn’t go through all the trouble of writing a blog & not mention Michael Vick Pleading Guilty, could I? Have I mentioned that I think he & Clinton Portis are gay lovers who have a combined IQ equal to less than a pile of my own dung? Oh that’s right, I have.



Yahoo joins Paramount, Universal in Pissing me the Hell off.
They’ve been playing around with my homepage recently, letting me know that there’s a New Version! That I’m just sure to love. I tried it, because I’m a sucker for all things new, but I switched back to old. Mostly because I’m stubborn. The new page is just too damn wide. The type is just too damn big. What the hell? Yahoo decides to “update” their page, and suddenly it’s assumed that everyone is 10/20 vision or something? Yeah. But see, I could get over all of that. The real deal-breaker is that they removed content from my page that I can’t get back. That pisses me off. What’s really insulting about it, though, is that on the page that leads you to your new page is a little cartoon guy that says something to the effect of “Relax. All your old content is already there!”

Lying sons of b*tches. F-you, Yahoo. I think I’ll just go to Apple’s start page or something. Maybe buy an iMac or new Macbook Pro 17” w/ glossy, HD screen. Take that, bastards. Take away my “New Movies Released This Week” module and think I won’t notice? How the hell else am I supposed to know what’s new this week? Huh?

See? See how it’s all linked? Uni & Paramount take away the possibility of getting their catalog on Blu-Ray, thereby postponing any sort of “Ultimate Home Theatre” anti-theatre plans I had, and Yahoo is taking away my link to what’s new in the damn theatres.

Conspiracy, I tell you.



Pleasant Surprise of the Month
Wanna know what our combined gas bill was this month? $40. Sick, isn’t it? What’s funny is that it doesn’t seem like we drive all that much less. But obviously we do, as in So Cal our monthly budget was $250 a month. Yikes, we’re saving over $200 a month in gas alone. Our utilities bill this month? $40. Yeah. See, we ran up a whole whopping 189 Kilowatt hours. We don’t use any A/C – in fact we don’t even have one –we don’t use any electricity most of the time, and when we have lights on they’re all the high-efficiency kind.

Yeah, we switched over all the existing bulbs in the house to the CCFL variety. You’d think this would be an expensive venture, but actually, no. We were at a local supply store looking for a park bench for our back yard (which we found), and stumbled upon a parking lot sale (which is where we found the bench. For $40. Pattern?) While in line to check out, I look over and see BOXES of CCFLs, on sale for 75¢ each. Damn. So yeah, we stocked up. Regularly like $3-$4 apiece, no? So it was a good buy and the savings will catch up with us next month, to boot!



And just to reiterate
Michael Vick is a flamer. Clinton Portis loves him for it. And in a land ruled by Karma, they’d both be mauled repeatedly until their death by perfectly-sane-yet-judgmental dogs.

Peace.

Tags: Technology, Vehicles, Animals, Entertainment

Just when I thought that the new “format wars” were about finished (seeing as how Blu-Ray had been outpacing HD-DVD by over a 2-to-1 margin just this year) and considering “borrowing” a player from a retail store, these two movie houses decide to drop support for Blu-Ray and focus solely on HD-DVD.

And by that, I mean they were nudged monetarily in that direction in a back room deal. Yay for consumers, aye? Why let the better format win, what good would that do?

So yeah. Back to square one. Waiting for a competitor to die. Man, I feel like a spectator at a Michael Vick Dog fight. Have I told you how much I hate him? Him & Clinton Portis? Yeah, I have, that’s right.



“Borrowing” (see above)
How the hell is a consumer supposed to figure out if the new “HD” formats are worth the money? It used to be you could rent hardware from places like Blockbuster Video or similar by putting down a deposit of like $250, renting for like $20 a day, and keep it for a few days. This worked great, especially on video game consoles you were unwilling to pay that much for without trying first.

Well the same thing goes here! I want to actually try HD-DVD or Blu-Ray for a movie viewing or two before I plunk down $200-400 on a player & commit to paying an extra $5 a flick to own. But no one lets you anymore.

Except, well, retail stores. Retail stores with ample return policies, that is. And as vile & unjust as it may be, it may very well be the only way one can actually try. You buy, try, & return. Just make sure you do it on credit card, that way if they try to get ballsy you sic the credit issuer on them.

For anyone so inclined to try what I just preached, be aware that while Best Buy probably has it in stock, they’re also freaking horrible when it comes to returns of any kind. I used to think they were the Big Boy’s Toys R’ Us, but now I just think they blow donkeys. In a virtual world. Called World of Donkeys.

Enjoy that Geek Squad visual.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment, Technology

Michael Vick Pleads GUILTY to dog fighting & animal abuse.

When the story first broke, Clinton Portis (who appears to be quite full of himself) was interviewed and said that he didn’t see why everyone was bugging out, he’s an upstanding citizen of the community & people are just trying to chop him down. It’s his house, so it shouldn’t matter. Um, yeah… about that. You see Mr. Clinton Portis sir, Michael Vick is kinda by definition not an upstanding citizen of the community, seeing as how the community decided that fighting dogs for profit is inhumane and as such wrote a “law” specifically banning this behavior. This behavior which Vick plead GUILTY to.

See, also about that whole ‘it’s his house’ thing you mentioned. You’re just a dumb jock, so you may not get it, but that statement opens up a whole can of worms you’re too dumb to comprehend. Like this one, for instance: Hey, don’t arrest me for hanging niggers. I was on my own property. Hell yeah! Whooping niggers and making them pick cotton – on my property – is totally cool. I’m an upstanding citizen, even though I beat & hang niggers, Clinton, because I only do it on my property, so what’s the big deal? Stop tryin’ to tear down whitey just because he’s beatin’ niggers on his own property. What gives? It' can't be that serious a crime. it's on my own property. You. ASS.

Yeah. Total sarcasm if you can grasp that, you oaf (except calling you an ass. That was legit). Maybe you see how stupid your talking is? Next time refrain. Ball. Chase. Smash. Big Paycheck. That is about the only thing you’re paid for, and thank god for that.



Addendum for Clinton Portis:
If you come within 5,000 feet of MY dogs, I don’t care how big & tough you are, I’ll misdirect you with a 3-4 Dime-Back scheme to confuse you and hang you like a nigger while you’re not looking. Don’t come within 5,000 feet of my dogs, dammit.

Same to you, Vick.

Needless to say, you're both hate-listed now. Buh-bye.



The reason I moved
It’s the end of August, and where I’m at the ground is still pretty green – even though it’s been a drought year – and the temps have hovered between 65º-73º during the day & 50º-55º nightly.

This is in stark contrast to the highs of above 100º daily where I originated, and nightly temps of about 65º-70º. Yeah, I’m feelin’ pretty good about the move and all.

Not only that, but gardening has taken on new dimensions. Instead of focusing so much time, energy, effort, and water into trying damn hard to get things to come out of the ground, we have realized we can pretty much find dirt, plant seed, and do a 360º, only to find sprouts coming out of the ground already. Yeah, I exaggerate a little, but not much. We’ve planted wildflowers & Nasturtiums & California Poppies (oh my!) and been witness to a 3-day turnaround between planted & sprouted.

Except for one spot. The spot Miles (that’s my Lab!) tends to pee on. Guess it is bad for the plants.



Only true friends will understand this test of willpower
I’ve now lived 3 doors down from Round Table Pizza for two months or so, and have only had it 4 times, 2 of which were with people visiting from So Cal.

Yeah, I’m feeling pretty proud at the moment.

Peace.

Tags: hate, Animals

Now don’t start telling me about how When Harry Met Sally is like 20 years old. What? I’m late to the party, OK? I admit it, so let’s move on, shall we?

And it’s not that I’ve never watched the movie before; I have it in my collection of DVDs (which has a funny aside in relation to this particular film. More on that later), and I’ve watched it plenty of times. This night, me and The Girl decided to watch a movie and just relax. She picked, and next thing you know we’re on a car trip from Chicago to New York with a beautiful girl and an impish jew boy.

I haven't watched the film often of recent, mostly because it’s lacking in special effects & surround sound specialness. Our new place has nice acoustics, and the sound is so amazing that I keep wanting to watch The Matrix or Star Wars or something to invigorate my senses. Anyway, back to Harry & Sally. It’s really a rather entertaining film. It’s funny and sad and true as well. Men & women can’t be friends, because the sex always does get in the way! Who’d have thunk? I mean, with all the sex in every aspect of our lives – from advertising lingerie to advertising dish soap – who would have ever thought sex would be such an important topic and so divisive?

Observations:

• Billy Crystal was never an attractive person. He’s not terribly ugly or anything, but he’s just not really an attractive man that I’d consider in the league of Meg Ryan.

• Meg Ryan has nice legs. Too bad there’s no butt attached to them.

• Carrie Fisher must’ve had a body double during her Princess Leia Golden Bikini days.

• Everyone in New York is Jewish. Except Meg Ryan.

• Meg Ryan may be Jewish.

• It is perfectly acceptable to have orgasms in public, as long as you finish your salad afterwards.

• Often times, people say the same thing at the same exact time. This happens frequently, especially if the people are friends and talking to other people in different areas over a phone. Out of earshot of each other.


So yeah. I think add an explosion or two, maybe throw in a terrorist subplot with dagger-throwing ninjas somewhere avoiding massive gunfire in slo-mo, and you’ve got A+ material. As it is? Just a regular A.

Hey, I’m picky.



Tables & Chairs & Staining, Oh My!
So The Girl has been going crazy lately with home creative stuff. I need to get her an Xbox or something, she’s spending us dry. It’s not completely her fault, I accept $40 of the blame, but nothing more.

See, we’ve been pouring more of ourselves into the back yard than we really should as renters, but it’s fun. After we got the shrub trimmed and then just chopped it down and ripped out the stump to plant a garden complete with Bird Bath, we decided we needed a place to sit and enjoy this beautiful creation (well, it will be beautiful in a couple of months, anyway). So we went out looking for a bench. We looked high, we looked low, and eventually found one at a local home store. They were having a parking lot sale, and lo-and-behold, a small do-it-yourself bench for – you guessed it – $40.

Well it’s nice and all, but it’s sort of the cookie in that now we needed a glass of milk. Perhaps I should clarify: The Girl needed a glass of milk. So while I was away, she ends up back at the home store, because we now need to stain the bench. OK, I can handle that. I was having a harder time handling the stain all over the outside of the house (“I thought we were staining the bench, honey”), but who am I to raise questions? We can get passed that though, no problem. But now we need end tables to compliment the bench, or so I'm told. So today I get home from a long day at work, and find that we have new tables to compliment our new bench. Should. Have. Seen. It. Coming.

That’s where we are now with it. I’m just waiting to come home to a 7’ tall water fountain made of solid bronze. Because that’s obviously where we’re headed.



Upside to the Cookie Monster’s new creative streak
The small little stands she found were only $3 on sale. So we went back, because they’re just about the right height to act as speaker stands! So now the surround sound system sounds even better, with all the speakers at about the same height instead of 5 of the six being bound to the floor. You know, by gravity and all.



Which is why I maybe recommended watching a movie tonight
But hey, When Harry Met Sally is a good movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it, dagger-throwing ninjas or not. Machine guns a-blazing from the right, left, behind, and above, oh my!



Which reminds me:
Funny thing in that movie. Right after they consummated their 12-year friendship (they “did it”), Harry’s lying in bed and finds a box of index cards.

Apparently, Sally organizes her movies alphabetically on index cards, she’s so Obsessive Compulsive. Oh Sally…. If only you’d met Harry sometime in the late 90’s or early 2000’s. Because I got you outdone, girlfrien’.

I have my movies organized on my Mac. Alphabetically. And by Genre. And Type. Yeah. I’m that Obsessive about it. Thing is, people always laugh when the first see it (usually when they want to borrow a movie and I “check it out” on my list). Yeah it’s silly, you silly little italian, you. But when I explain that it helps me keep track of all my movies & I know who has what at any given time, I haven’t lost a movie in like 10 years. Then the laughter stops.

And weeks later I learn they started their own list. So maybe I’m on to something. If only there were a way to make money using these skills & bounty…. Oh well, can’t think of any.

Peace.

Tags: Entertainment, women