hairy legs: not sexy at all
so how’s this: for the last every morning out of 7, when i wake up and check the 5-day forecast, it essentially says “blazing hot today and tomorrow, with a slight cooling after that.” for the last 7 days in a row. so today, they at least stopped lying and said this: “hot as fuck today, tomorrow, and as far as we can tell into the future. invest in a baster.”
Read more...except for the south
for instance, today we relived a moment where in the past i had said to her that her capris – which she had worn everyday for like a week i swear, no lie – didn’t look as cute on her as her regular pants. now, in a man’s world, this means that the jeans look better than capris.
Read more...why didn't gwb's parents support abortion, too?
let me begin by saying i have no idea still. i pulled it straight out of the drawer – not the hamper – so all should have been golden. and here’s what really bugs me: how did i not notice this until i was at the gym surrounded by people who i could then offend?
Read more...having 11 toes is fairly common. right?
and the special effects weren’t that special, either. know what gets me about that? a decade later, and it seems to me Jurassic park is the measuring stick. what the hell?!?! it’s been 10 years! we need to step up da wizardy, hollywood, becuase this many years passed, there’s no reason i should doubt the authenticity of what i see on the screen with mine eyes. there’s absolutely no suspension of disbelief watching this “stuff.”
Read more...a wise man once said, "Huh?"
so? what do we do with it? well, if we don’t have a schedule, you don’t really do anything. because you came home, picked your nose for a half hour, got a snack, picked your butt for a half hour, went to the bathroom (because for some reason your butt seems to have been awakened... wonder why?), read yahoo horrorscopes for a while, sat around doing nothing, asking what’s for dinner...
Read more...what poo can do for you; tonight at 11
so in the midst of yesterday’s blog, i mentioned
something about being accosted due to my earnestness
to not pay for some guy’s/girl’s sex change. it was
more than just a funny line, folks; it really
happened. now, this is just yet another reason to
avoid so cal, and especially hollywood altogether, so
pay attention. it all started so long ago....
do girl fish retain air?
so you know what else sucks about living in so cal? not sure if you knew this, but.... it’s actually a desert. at least most of it, especially the inland parts where i and most others live (don’t bother pricing property near the beach; you can’t count that high). and it’s damn dusty out here!
Read more...midgets aren't real; it's an optical illusion
just once, i want to see someone report the likeness of lucifer in their bowl of cereal or something. sort of balance it out. then we could see all the virgin mary dumbasses say “it’s just dumb luck that it looks like that, esé; satan wouldn’t give a sign in cereal, that’s just dumb.” you think
Read more...don't sit on your children
so this conversation starts out, and i’m thinking ‘yes! tundra tundra tundra! saved from bad american workmanship,’ and as he continues, i’m getting to thinking ‘shut up, shut up, you’re ruining this lovely image i’m having right now of us being a toyota family,’
Read more...boobies ROCK!
and if that’s not bad enough, our other vehicle is totally crapping out on us right now (1995 ranger). just had the tranny rebuilt in December, and now the thing was just in because the fluid looks like doggy-doo again, and the shift cable needs replacing at $200, and the mlps sensor is bad as is the overdrive button, which the mechanic plainly said that we don’t want to know how much that is.
Read more...earwax is grody
so we’re calling our new roommates, telling them all about it, telling them we’re crazy not to do this, right?! then later we trek home, to our over-priced loft, and decide to look up the place on some mapping software (thank you, google earth!). and you know what? did you see the pic at the top, right? ok, so, um, the homes we peeked into? no idea whose those were.
Read more...chinese food & me don't get along
however... this is leopard gig is more about refining tiger. and some of the touted features look to me like a confusing mess for newbies. their virtual desktops, or “spaces,” is going to confuse some poor grandma and she’s going to die, no lie.
Read more...honey comes from bees
today @ work we got into a debate about this issue – among others – and could not seem to agree. i mean, we all agreed the earth was getting warmer, but the one side says there’s no body of evidence to support that it has anything to do with human intervention, while the other side (dare i say the ‘right’ side?) claims that indeed there is.
Read more...toes are weird
so we like animals, if you couldn’t tell. and i don’t mean in that old-crazy-farmer-’loves’-his-animals sort of way, so knock it off (you know who you are...). we figure we’ll have the gamut: horses, a couple cows, goat, chickens... i myself have put a bunny on my wish-list, some mallards, as well as a large turtle and penguin. yes, a penguin.
Read more...i like working out
so, what prompted me to blog today? my brother. my stupid, idiotic, couldn’t-get-any-worse brother. Yes that one. The only one. God help him. Let us pray for his soul. Or at least start a bidding war.Read more...
i like Sex
with a lower case l. see? that’s my thing, the lower-case. i figured that it would be my thing. I don't have any other things, so maybe that's it. We'll see. I haven't really thought i tall through at this point, so hey it's all up to me. And I'm fickle. So don't hold your breath is what I'm sayin'.Read more...