Dog vs. Seal, Dog vs. Flowerbed, & Apple Haters
Who
would win in a fight: two dogs, or a seal?
Now I only ask in jest of course, not because my dogs went and sniffed up a seal or anything. I swear, I wasn’t out walking along the beach the other day, and caught a glimpse of a seal not 20-ft from the shoreline. And I also swear that my dogs did not, I repeat did not also see the seal that I didn’t see that wasn’t at the beach that I wasn’t at, and thusly did not go out and meet the seal in the shallows and have a sniff session.
So clearly, I’m only asking in a generally curious sort of way.
Damn! How’d you know I was lying?
OK, that did happen the other day. Yesterday in fact. I saw the damn seal out there and was like, wow, I’ve never seen a seal that close up before! How cool! Followed shortly after by He’s going to go swimming away now that the dogs are headed his direction, right? Followed by Holy fuck, he’s arching his back like a cat. That’s not good, right? Right? Where’s a Seal Almanac when you need one? Followed by Crap I hope the dogs don’t get eaten. Followed by my yelling “Hey! Get away from the seal!” Because as we all know, dogs innately know what a seal is by name, in english, and with no prior training.
The good news is nothing happened. It looked to be about 120 pounds, maybe 1.5x Miles’ size (about 75-80 pounds) visually. He didn’t seem out for a fight, but he didn’t seem too terribly pleased to have two dogs sniffing him like he was a new toy. Not too terribly bothered either, mind you. But I didn’t know off the top of my head at the time whether seals are vicious attack creatures with razor-sharp teeth or dopey, friendly Dolphin-like sea animals. And I didn’t know if I could run out to the spot, then swim out to sea and catch a seal carrying one of my dogs with him. I imagine a dog would add quite a drag, but I didn’t want to find out.
Thankfully, nothing of note happened. The dogs eventually turned to look and see what the wild man was yelling for, and the seal just sort of jumped off and went away into the waves. Saving me from having to go swimming, too.
I could actually still be lying
Inadvertently, though. I’m not sure if it was a seal or a sea lion. It looked grey, didn’t appear to be furred, and had the “classic” seal look to it. You know, that pose on the Thompson’s Water Seal products? The classic “look I’m balancing a ball on my nose!’ stance. Yeah, that’s what it looked like. But in reading to try and figure it out, seals seem to be larger & heavier & clumsier than this thing was. So I am just not sure. Next time I see him, I’ll ask. ARP ARP! ARP ARP ARP! That’s seal for “hey, you’re a seal right?” If I don’t get an answer, I’ll assume that it’s because it’s a sea lion and has no idea what I said.
Dog digs up garden. Dog finds secret burial spot for said dog.
So the dogs had what could have been a near-death experience at the beach. Of course for all we know, it could have been a near lotto-winning experience, too. But anyway. We get home. I lock the dogs outside because they’re wet & sandy, and I wanted them to dry so I could take a towel and make them un-sandy before letting them in (before I went to work). I have lunch, clean the kitchen a little, and start getting ready. I figure I’ll let the dogs in, and you know what I found? A doggy digging our flower garden outside. MY dog. The good one. Yeah. Not sure what it was he was looking for, but I know what he found. He inadvertently found my secret burial grave for his ass should he ever dig it up again.
I say “again” because this is now twice in the last 3 weeks. He makes it 3? I make a fur coat. That’s the deal.
People still bitching about price-cut on iPhone
Can you believe it? People complaining that a company cut its prices. Take a look here for more. And if you were curious, yes the “randombob” on consumerist.com is the random bob here.
So it’s official: I’ve seen everything. Goodbye cruel world, I’ve nothing left to give. Whining over a lower price...
Peace.