Tags: Apple

Tags: hate

Tags: women, hate

Friday night, and you know what I’m up to? Watching TV. And being lied to. See, apparently ABC was supposed to be showing America’s Funniest Home Videos. At least that’s what I saw when I checked out the lineup after getting back from picking up dinner.

And with nothing to do, I figured what the hell, I’d turn on the boob tube. Er, well, Boob flat screen. So to ABC 7 we go, and I find… Grey’s Anatomy. Because, that’s funny. Wait, no it’s not. Which is more than likely why I was upset about the whole thing. I wanted to lol, dammit, not :-(. So, the lesson? Don’t believe everything you see on TV. Or the TV Guide for that matter.

Oh, and no, I’m not without a life; The Girl works Friday nights, so we get out other nights of the week. Now leave me alone.



Parky-poo
So before I even went to get dinner (and stopped by Staples. More on that later), I took the dogs – once again – to the dog park. Surprisingly, my Pit-mix was a good girl. Not that she’s ever really bad, in the sense that she’s not out looking for a fight. But she is often a little too snappy, even if it’s only in play, and typically has an unnatural fear of small minions from hell (read: children).

But this day she was fine, even with a few small minions at play, she was all too happy to have them pet her, which kind of upset me. Because, afterall, what the hell? Don’t I pet you well enough? You gotta go and get your pet on somewhere else? Oh, so I don’t pet you the right way. Whatever, bitch, this is your decision! You want to run around on me, FINE! But don’t get all upset when I start petting other dogs! I’ll NEVER forgive you! No, NO! Not the sad puppy eyes! NOOO!!!!

OK, I forgive you…

I’m glad she’s getting better about this stuff, though. I guess reprimanding her and putting her on the leash when she’s bad – sad dog eyes or no – has made her think about what she does a little harder. Good dog. Sit, Zoey, sit! Good dog!



Compulsive Pen Envy
So for the last, oh, 5 years, wherever I go I have one of those old BIC pens with four colors, in my pocket. You know the one, it’s white up top, with a blue base, and has green, red, blue, and black ink nodes in it. Here, this one:

But recently, I have been experimenting with different pens. It all started with the boss' pens. He had some nicer “V7” Rollerball pens. I ended up with one of these, and I about got a hard-on over it, it wrote so good. Not quite, it was more of a softie, but the love was there is what I'm saying.

I started using this thing, and I just loved loved loved it. So much so, that I decided that it was now MY pen, and no one was going to have it back. And me and the pen lived happily ever after. That is, until it leaked all over me. At which point I traded it in for its twin sister, sitting idly by on someone else's desk. And SHE leaked all over me, too (runs in the familly).

I decided I would break down and buy a batch of good pens, and rid myself of pen envy once and for all. I stopped by staples, got some Uniball Micro Vision Elite Series pens. Great. Wonderful. Awesome. They don’t cut out or leak, and they write at least as well as the V7’s my boss had. And I thought I was through with pen envy, until this week on Valentine’s Day (another blog story waiting to happen. I’ll tell you later), when the waitress (I think, at least) left a receipt and a pen for me to use to sign the receipt.

And, this pen. Wow. I mean, just Wow. I was in love. Cupid got me. I had to have this pen. I devised strategies to get out of the restaurant with it, so we could be together, just me and, um, it. The Girl however, who happened to follow me to the restaurant, and being a waitress herself, managed to talk me out of keeping it for myself.

Which brings me to Staples once again. To find that pen and make it mine. The experience was both saddening and exciting. Saddening in that I could not find the same exact pen (a Staples branded Gel Pen), but I did find the Pilot G2 Series Gel pens, and THEY CAME IN PACKS OF 4! Imagine that! 4 of these hot mammas, all loving me at once! OH joy!

Yes, I know I’m weird; save your breath. No, I’m not quite that obsessed. I just wanted to have a nice pen to write with, and it had to a) write smooth, b) not smear too easily (for when I use my left hand to write), and c) not cut out or leak. And I think this fits the bill. Pen envy? Not me. Not anymore, at least. $20 later. Sigh

Peace.

Tags: Animals

I LOVE thunder & Lightning. We’re not talking Garth Brooks here, folks, we’re talking the real deal. Yep, as of a few hours ago, that is the official forecast for my area.

Read it and weep.

I have no idea why I like it. It’s actually kind of scary. Sounds like an earthquake making its way to us at times. But the laser light show with full surround-sound support is worth it. And thankfully, our animals are sharp enough to grasp that if we’re not afraid, then neither should they be.


Death of a Salesman
OK, so manager or not, a large portion of my day still consists of sales. And as I was on the phone today with some dufus that felt the compelling need to explain that his son’s name was the same as mine, and then even continue further to let me know he was only 5 – in case I was confused and thought maybe I was his son – and also countless other unimportant fact-lets regarding his life, I couldn’t help but picture the rest of my life like that. I’d be one gray 30 y/o, that’s for sure.

We’ve been slow the last few months. Not necessarily slower than normal for this time of year, but ‘tis the season to pick up volume-wise. And we are. And it’s good, because as I still have some commision-based salary, I could use the help. Downside, of course, is that I’m more likely to have to talk to people. And as my stepfather would say, I do not suffer fools gladly.

Roughly translated, that means I hate stupid people. I think it's latin or something.


Tonsilloliths
I DID NOT make that word up. It’s real. Really. Check it out. I did, however, discover that this is what I have been experiencing for the last 5 years or so of my life. Gross, huh? Are you glad I shared? You should be! Dammit! How often do you get to get dibs on information like that!? Hell, if I ever run for president or something, you may be able to use it against me. In a court of law or something. K, maybe not, but now you can point and laugh as I walk down the street.

But don’t let me catch you; otherwise I may through a tonsillolith at you.

Gross. Peace.

Tags: earth conditions

Um, well, yeah. See, um…. Yeah. What do I say about this movie? Firstly, I think it’s one of those movies that gains Hype Momentum, whereby some people give it rave reviews and others simply follow so that they, too, seem like know-it-all cool movie peeps. The reviews on this particular film have been almost out of this world. Yahoo! Movies loved it. Rotten Tomatoes loved it.

I, however, did not like it so much. I didn’t hate it, but I surely wished I had saved $20 for something else. I’m not going to give the thing away, just in case you want to waste your money to see it, but I’ll go over the basics. Firstly, to me it seems like it wants to be part Modern-Day Never Ending Story, part Schindler’s List, and part “Cute girl makes us all go ‘awww…’” Thing for me is, first and foremost I hate, HATE movies that sell cute. I think it’s cheap. Secondly, the film can’t seem to make up its mind whether it’s going to be a movie that’s fiction-based reality or reality-based fiction. It never quite decides and I think the movie suffers, and forces us to suffer, too.

It had promise. I think they need to either cut the “cute” out, or cut the adult out. I mean, half children’s fairy tale told in an adult film sort of stinks. With the language, this certainly isn’t geared towards kids. But it’s much to kiddy for adults, though.

And where the fuck is the flying dog, anyways?



Sprinkles = SEVERE STORM
Only in Southern California does two hour’s worth of heavy drizzle somehow constitute a severe storm. No really, I’m not exaggerating here. I got up, the ground was wet. It then proceeded to drizzle heavily (which means it was less than a light rain, for reference). OK, then it’s off to hear my mother speak of it: “Oh yeah, it’s really pouring out right now.” No, not really. I was just out in it; it’s a heavy drizzle at best.

Then it’s off to hear my friend Daniel tell it: “Yeah, it’s coming down pretty good. Real wet outside.” Wet, yes, but that’s because it’s now been a heavy drizzle for the last 3 hours. Really coming down? Not so much.

At least this time it actually rained. A few weeks back, they predicted rain for the next 3 days in the five day forecast for – I kid you not – at least 5 days. Never saw a drop. So we’re getting somewhere; we’re making progress. Hopefully with the next SEVERE STORM, there will be enough water that people will feel that there’s really no need to water the plants. In the rain. During a SEVERE STORM ALERT.

Oh well. At least it was something.

Peace.

Tags: earth conditions

Animals are, of course, not as smart as people. That’s why we have cell phones ‘n’ stuff, cuz we’re all so smart. But while animals are smart on their own level, not all animals are the same smart.

Today, I decided to take the dogs out to play for a while. It was a long while, actually, as I hadn’t really done that much with them the last week, and I wanted to get them all worn out so me and The Girl can go out tonight and won’t feel bad about leaving them behind. They’ll be too tired to worry, anyways.

Anywho. I took them out to the dog park first and foremost, get them socializing and just getting into the groove. Ran around a bit and also just sort of hung out, watched Miles chew a tennis ball and watched Zoey watch me. Cool. Eventually, a large-ish Pit Bull came to visit, and I figured that since we’d been there for close to two hours, now was as good a time to leave as any. So off we went.

Home was not our next stop, however. I decided that I wanted to really wear them out, so we went to a hill close to me (Beacon Hill), and went running up it. Now, Miles is no doubt getting old, as he’s 10 ½ years now. And he’s a dog. So that’s like 70+ years old now. And while it’s amazing that he can still keep up, you have to understand that a year and a half ago, when he was like 60 in dog years, he could still whoop my ass at any sporting event. This includes, but is not limited to: running, swimming, biking, pole vault, discus, long jump, basketball, tennis, and hurdles. Don’t bother asking me how he can possibly beat me at running.

So anyways, we get back, and I decided that since they were all hot and run down, I’d bathe the puppies, as they were dirty and it would cool them down, too. And here’s where Miles makes me proud.

See, Zoey, even though she’s been bathed regularly for the almost 3 years she’s been alive, has this death-fear of the hose or any body of water. Because, you know, it almost killed her last time, right? Wrong, but she can’t seem to remember that. And each time, it’s living hell to try and a) convince her that we’re NOT going to get baths, b) get the stuff ready for the bath, and c) drag her TO the bathing spot. Oh, and it’s hell to hold her there and wash her, too.

Miles? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Now yes, he’s a Lab, and they generally love water. BUT, that’s not to say they love baths. He doesn’t necessarily like them, either. But he knows that it’ll only be a minute, he won’t die, and will get toweled off at the end (which for some reason dogs seem to love). And he goes along with it without fuss.

He’s a learning dog. A real thinker. Atta boy.



What happened to the commercials?
So Super Bowl came and went. And other than the game, what a disappointment. I mean, come on, those commercials were worse than a joke. In fact, they didn’t have a punch line at all. The funniest of the night was the Doritos the commercial they played at the beginning. You know, the one where the guy hits a car while looking at a girl, and subsequently the girl falls on her face.

Other than that, what the hell? I mean, everyone seemed to just eat up the Bud commercial with the poor dog (I knew they would), and the Bud commercial with the crabs (I was flabbergasted anyone even so much as cracked a smile).

Remember when Super Bowl commercials were as good – if not better – than the game itself? Oh, I remember, I remember well. So let’s hope that the commercial advertising gurus remember soon, too, before we’re all subjected to the damn careerbuilder commercials ever, ever again. What atrocities.

Peace.

Tags: Animals