...to all you jews out there. Let’s all celebrate the day our Lord Jim was born. Whom you promptly killed. Bastards.


Happy Freakin’ Hanukkah
...to all you christians out there, who falsely believe that Jim was the incarnation of our Lord God. Whiners.


Merry Freakin’ Kwanzaa
…to all you white folk out there, who don’t recognize that baby Jesus was a black man from the Bronx, and that BET is actually a quality, premium channel, filled with clever programming and informative skits. Crackers.


Feliz Freakin’ Navidad
...to all you “native” North Americans. We tell you it means “Happy Christmas,” but it really means “I can’t WAIT to drive at least 15mph under the speed limit in the fast lane, and crowd your support system with my non-tax-paying-ass & the 35 children I'm going to have.” Gringos. Aye aye aye, ARRIBA ARRIBA!



Holiday Shopping misses the mark
According to reports like these, we’re all bastards for not spending enough. What ever you say…. First off, it’s a report based off of predicted spending patterns, not anything realistic, say like last year’s spending and the economy of present-day.

Second off, GOOD! I look forward to this time of year being more about togetherness and good meals than commercialization, anyhow. Sh*t, anymore we could just say “merry shopping” and no one would notice the difference. Or “Merry ‘Pad the wallets of the already super-rich even more!’” and I don’t think one soul would blink an eye.

Keep your money. Wanna give me something? How about a pound of bacon? Look, I’m just going to store that freaking ugly-ass figurine in the garage for a few years anyways, until I come across it in a cleaning spree and wonder how the hell I ended up with a scale version of a dolphin jumping over an elephant in the snow, and throw it away.

Besides, if we all just used this time of year to remind other people that we’re thinking of them, not that we feel obligated to spend money on them, we’d all have more $$ to use towards being together in the first place.

Not that I want to hang out with you, but you get what I’m saying.



Attack of the Stupids
So Saturday I worked. I brought in a movie to watch (It’s a Wonderful Sex Life, starring Ivana Hummp A’Lot & Peter North), and figured we’d all sit around and watch a movie while the phones just stared back blankly at us.

Boy was I wrong. Apparently on December 23rd, while most normal people are either doing last-minute shopping or preparing food for other normal people whom are scheduled to arrive the following day, stupid people come out of the woodworks and decide that today would be a great day to call around for car parts.

Now by this, I don’t mean to imply that a lot of people called in to order car parts. I mean to imply that a lot of stupid people called in to ask questions about car parts and then wonder if we’ll be open on Monday (that’s, um, Christmas, by the way) or ask why the heck we won’t be able to ship anything out until Tuesday (the, uh, day after Christmas). I can’t begin to explain the amount of stupid questions or even recall the exact questions themselves. Suffice to say that they were too many to recall and far too many to keep count.

Which prompted me to change my screensaver at work, a scrolling marquee, to read: “Stupid People Should Not Breed.” More than just a suggestion, it's my new slogan.



It’s not a Christmas Present, I swear; it’s just impeccable timing
Today happens to be the 75th posting for me. That, as you may recall, was the self-imposed deadline to have actual meaningful daily titles for my blogs.

Screw Christmas – It was all about my blog! :-)

Peace.

And Love to all.

Tags: hate

So what if she ended up with provocative pictures of herself on the internet for anyone to see? Geez, people, this is a great opportunity! Come to Nevada, where Prostitution is legal and our Beautiful spokeswoman is on the payroll!
Remember: what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Too bad she didn’t get the memo that Vegas is indeed in Nevada, not um, say, in Florida. Hey, we said she was beautiful, not smart.



They just give this stuff away
OK, so if you use iTunes: go to the iTunes store home page (in iTunes, of course), and go to the MAIN store, not any of the sub-stores (music, movies, etc). If you scroll to the bottom, there’s a list of “Free on iTunes.” Obviously, not every one is a winner, but I just got 3 free songs that rock; two decent Christmas songs and one free Rock song. Check out the links and have a merry freakin’ christmas. Consider this my gift, ‘cause you ain’t getting nothing else.



What? A Holiday? Are you serious? Gifts? I have to buy Gifts?
You’re sh*tting me, right? Damn, you’re not. What the hell?! Can’t I just sleep in and eat some food, fall asleep again, and go do something fun?

The thing about giving gifts: typically, you want to give them to specific people. However, these people are linked to people who you’d rather not give gifts to. I think that it’s some requirement or something decreed by our lord Jim or something, because it – seriously – never – fails. So what do you do? You avoid being rude by giving gifts to them, as well, so they’re not left out.

And so it goes you end up poorer than you should be, so that some undeserving prick (whoops, I said it) gets something they don’t deserve by knowing the right people. Sort of like Rick James. Or Nicole Richie. Or GWB. I said it. Deal with it.



I really need to get off my A**
I have been soooooo lazy recently. I’ve only been going to the gym like 4 days a week. Typically I go 5-6 days… Why? Why the laziness? I think it may have to do with the holidays.

This too, shall pass. Not soon enough, but eventually.

Noel.

Tags: Gym

Boys night out came and went again. This time, though, there was a different mix of people. And a smaller mix, too. Most of the people from work flaked out for one reason or another, so it ended up being just myself and two gents who used to work with me, Nick and Joel.

So me and Nick went to El Torito to eat dinner. There we met Willy, possibly the Gayest of all Gay Waiters Ever in the History of the World. He came to seat us, and me and Nick looked at each other like “maybe we should kiss each other so at least he won’t bother us.” Unfortunately for us, not only did he seat us, but I guess he decided we were so cute he would serve us, as well.

Food wasn’t that good. Not sure if it was really not all that great or if my mind was just weighed down with what Willy the Gayest of all Gay Waiters could have possibly done to our food around the corner….

Night wasn’t a total waste, though. How often do you get to say “here comes Big Willy!” and be semi-serious?



Un-freakin’-believable
Wouldn’t you know it? Joel didn’t flake out.

I know – I’m shocked, too.



Un-freakin’-believable: Redux
Wouldn’t you know it? Joel shows up and creams us all at Miniature Golf. I can’t swear enough on the inside to truly express how I feel about this. To really get the gravity of the situation, you have to know that myself and him and Jaxan and some of Joel’s friends have all been out to play Mini-Golf before a few times.

Joel’s a shark, don’t believe him when he tells you that he’s not that good. He walks up all casual, holding the club as though he’s never actually used his hands before. He lures you in to thinking that you’ll easily make him cry and then send him back to the strawberry patch. But a few Holes-in-One later, and you realize you’ve fallen into this spider’s trap.

As he tried to explain last night, he’s like the Tiger Woods of Mini-Golf. Which I guess makes him either a) Pedro Woods or b) Mini-Wood.

Personally, I’m leaning towards Mini-Wood myself. Just the thought of all the fun ways I could use that in a sentence at his expense makes me smile. Next time I see him? “What up, Mini-Wood?!” I could possibly get great mileage out of this one.



Friends or “I take from you”
I have decided that I will not hang out with people whose definition of friendship is along the lines of “what can you do for me?”

I find that one particular person I know seems to think that being “friends” with him equates to what kind of favors can be done for him, in a rather one-way fashion. Here’s a thought: Hey, instead of making my life harder than it has to be, why not wipe the fuckin’ furl from your brow and do something that actually makes my life easier, without bitching. It’s real simple, I don’t ask much of anyone, mainly just to do what you’re supposed to do anyways, reliably.

Obviously if I blogged about it, it has consumed more of my time in thought than I’d care for it to; this will stop as of now. Not worth maintaining a “friendship” if all that really entails is being reliably used and taken advantage of.



April/May Quickly Approaching
In the words of the Girl, actually. She’s right; we’ve been talking about how our plans to move are going to go from vision to implementation starting in January as I prepare my Resumé and get it out there for all to see. And now January is only a week or so away….

Scared? You bet. Freddy Krueger scared? No. Wet my Pants scared? I’m not telling. I mean, I don’t here scary music or anything, but I can’t shake the feeling that this is for all the marbles. I have to make this work somehow. I can’t come back here. I hate it here. And although I have seen and said that there are jobs up there to get and have…. Are they the jobs for me is now what I’m thinking.

I can get a job, that’s not a problem. But I’d rather get a GOOD job than some minimum wage meat packing job. I have aspirations of how to spend my free time and my free money. I want some of both, dammit!



3 Days without blogging
...because I didn’t get home until after midnight last night.

Joel scalded me like I’d chewed his slippers or something this morning, but totally forgot to take into account I was out with him last night. By the time I cried myself to sleep from the devastating loss earlier in the evening, I was simply too pooped to sit down and devote any time to a computer.

But I’m over it this morning. And in fact, I managed to crack a smile earlier today. I realized that not once, in the last two years that I have visited and toured throughout the Eureka area, did I see a SINGLE Miniature Golf Course. That’s right; soon my losing days will be completely behind me :-)

Peace.

Tags: hate

Yes, it’s short. No, it’s not an actual “movie” in the sense that someone paid mucho money to put in theatres. Hell, it’s not a feature-length presentation. But, it’s dastardly funny. Go check it out. If you’ve seen it via an email from me already, pretend you haven’t and go see it again.
Why’s it so funny? Because, of course, it’s true. Well, not for me, but probably for you :-). I've watched this I don't know how many times now, and it's still gut-bustingly good. Thanks to Action for turning me on to it.



Geebus? Instead of, say, Jim?
OK, so who decided to use the name Geebus? I mean, Geebus Christ! Why not “Jim?” I mean, what a strange name for a guy, huh? Which makes you wonder (we wondered at work): is Geebus a fairly uncommon name because it was used for this guy? Or is it atypical and that’s the reason they chose it? Or did they just make it up? I mean, how many people you heard of before his time that were named Geebus? Yeah, me either.

What if they named him Jim Christ? JIM CHRIST! What a concept… Would Jim now be uncommon? Would it be Jesus Smith in the cubicle next to you? Eh, who knows.
Oh, and in case anyone wants to proffer an answer: yeah, see, it was rhetorical... I’m really not too interested to know who decided upon the name. Unless it involves boobs. Heck, if you can weave boobs in there some way, I’m duty-bound to listen.



Which brings me to…
Seriously, why are people today naming their kid Geebus? Sh*t, that’s a hell of a lot to live up to. “You see, son, we named you after the Savior of All Human Kind. No pressure to make anything of yourself, though…. You just be a trite little boy, OK?” How many people do you know named Zeus (outside of wrestling)? Or Hercules? Why? Because how can you expect your kid to fill those shoes? They can’t even control their bowels, how the heck are you supposed to know whether they’re going to change the world? They can’t even change their own diapers!

"Hi, Samantha! I’d like you to meet my friend, Jehovah, not to be confused with Our Lord God. And his this is his wife, Hera."

Just a question I’ve pondered. Thought I’d run it by y’all.

Peace.

So I got the call last night; the Dyson had arrived! After a 15 minute jaunt there to pick it up and a 10 minute jaunt back, Dyson “Absolute” in tow, I was like a giddy schoolgirl on christmas morning. Or a giddy nympho on a honeymoon, take your pick.

So how does this thing perform? Did you read the title? Yeah, it’s pretty damned impressive. I hooked it all up and plugged it in, and as it sat on the rug I decided to just do a “test run” before dinner and turned it on. After only a few swipes, I decided to finish out the whole rug, as I was about to throw up from the amount of things it had accumulated. One rug later, and I had to empty the thing! So dinner came and went (after my friend Ana, with the new Macbook, got through entertaining us all with her video chat capabilities and some twisted photos of herself. Oh, and the incessant giggling), and next thing I know me and the Girl are finding ways to put everything that isn’t bolted down to the carpet up off of it so we can really put this thing through the motions.

And 20 minutes later, I’d emptied the thing no fewer than 4 times. Yeah, I had to empty the canister at least 4 times. Look, we vacuum regularly; we’re clean people. Hell, we’ve been using a Kirby vacuum cleaner, and those things are supposed to be the Rolls Royce of vacuums, no? But every time we got through with the Big-K, if you laid on the carpet and looked across, you could see pet hair all long the carpet, in with the fibers. We just figured that the vacuums couldn’t pull that stuff up. And also figured the carpet was otherwise clean.

WRONG WRONG WRONG! This thing pulled almost all of it up. Now the carpet looks brand new. It’s a little rough now, probably because we got rid of all the extra “padding” that was in it, but it looks brand spanking new already. And we didn’t even do a second pass. Mostly because we wanted there to be carpet left on the floor the next day and it was crying mercy already, so we called it a night.

Verdict? Dyson good! Dirt bad!



Sears Sucks, Too!
I was told that the vacuum would arrive on Tuesday. It did not. But the only way to find this out was to call them. And here is where Sears starts to really suck. First, there’s no contact info on the receipt, so I had to look it up. Then I found out the hard way that although they have a customer service line, no one actually has to answer it. Some 10 minutes later, on the third call, I finally get ahold of someone who sounds like they’re from Austria. Dear god, tell me I didn’t dial Austria. Nope, she’s just hard to understand, as I think I did hear at least a few engrish words. OK, so I tell her what I’m looking for, and she tells me something that I think was to the effect of “I’ll have to transfer you,” but far less coherent. Then I got to listen to pretty hold music for another 2 minutes, until she picked up the phone again and got me. Yes, it’s still me. So she transfers me again, to the same department. And wouldn’t you know it, after the pretty hold music had finished, there we both were, on the phone again. With each other. No way, I’m so surprised by this outcome…

So by now she decides to go and track someone down from that department (I still have no idea which one it was supposed to be). Luckily for me, while she was out doing this, someone else picked up the phone and I got to tell them my story. So they say they’ll transfer me to Merchandise Pickup, but then I hear all this yelling and screaming as he’s trying to remember (with help) the extension there. Yay. After a few minutes in what I assume was a failed attempt, I ended up at housewares… grrr…..

At least this one person was on the ball. He actually used the computer system for something other than porn, and looked me up. Yeah, strange I know!

In the end, though, all of this was gone through so he could inform me that I’d have to go through this tomorrow, as it wasn’t in stock yet. And I did. Again. 24 wee hours later.

Moral of the story? Don’t buy from Sears. I mean, shit, you know that K-Mart bought them, right? So it’s like shopping at K-Mart, anyways. Yuck. Worst customer service I’ve experienced since I had left work a few hours before. Geebus. Target had it on sale for $569 (and I think it comes with the same stuff as the “Sears Special Edition”), and there I can actually get service in some sort of timely fashion. Oh, and probably wouldn’t have had to wait 3 extra days. Probably worth the extra few $$, is all I’m saying.



New Door
Got a doggy door from the outside to the garage put in, courtesy of South Africa. We have some 4 dogs at the house; two are ours, two are not. Our two? Figured out after a few minutes (and some rattling food) that the see-through plastic door could actually be used to get out of the garage. The other two? Not so much.

They’re both Australian Shepherds. Now, in talking with their owners, you’d think that they could solve Pi or something. But in reality? One cowered at the sight of it and would avoid it at all costs, even after you opened the big door so she wouldn’t pee on herself. Yes, she’d run by the door as if it was going to reach out and grab her foot. Because we’ve all seen doggy doors do that before. At least 10 different times, myself. To be fair, she can now (a day later) make it through that hole, with some supervision. The other one though, will simply look at you through the hole, watch other dogs go through the hole, return to looking at you through the hole, then paw the door at the crack. And then return to looking at you through the hole.

Now, she wasn’t there the day it was installed, so the other dogs did have like a 12 hour head start on her or something like that, but… C’mon, you just saw two dogs do it right in front of your eyes. It’ll work, this isn’t a Superman joke. Really. Try it. Do like Microsoft and imitate.



For those of you who now want to know the Superman Joke:
Too bad. I just handed you the punch line, so it just won’t work now anyways. But trust me that the reference was funny. Really.

Peace.

Tags: hate, Animals

So the Girl got us an Amex credit card not long ago, and it was supposed to reward us after our first 3 purchases with some sort of $50 cashback bonus or some jazz like that. Except 3 months later, and nothing. So we called. Guess what? Apparently if you call them, they “suddenly remember” all of this, and are so willing to rectify the situation. It’s not according to plan that they conveniently forgot, OH NO, it’s just an accident.

Well anyways, they presented The Girl with like 150 options for a $50 gift card. Of all the places they rattled off, Cheesecake Factory was the only one she recognized. Yesterday the card arrived, today we dined fine at Cheesecake Factory.

Except it wasn’t all that fine. And what’s more, geebus did the waitress make it hard on me. See, they didn’t have exactly what I wanted. They had two dishes that were close, or at least part of the puzzle, but damned if the waitress could put them together right. I wanted shrimp scampi with Teriyaki chicken. Not hard, but boy oh boy did she manage to NOT get this right.
Firstly, she tells me it’s not possible, the chicken is pre-cut, can’t do it, blah blah blah, though I still fail to see why the fuck not. Then we find out that she could order it plain but supply a side of teriyaki sauce. Bravo, young lady, yer learnin’! Come din-din time, though, I re-lost my faith in her, as my shrimp was literally swimming in nasty-ass sauce (I dislike sauce. Except BBQ. And Teriyaki.), and the chicken was battered in some form of regurgitated throw-up or something. Luckily she remembered the side of ‘yaki. But she also managed to get the Girl’s order COMPLETELY wrong. Like, the only thing right was that it was supposed to be chicken of some nature, but this is neither horseshoes OR hand grenades, so no points.

OK, we paid some $20 a plate. And the shrimp was awash in toxic waste and the chicken looked like someone else’s throw-up. So basically, if you love $40 cheesecake, by all means go to the Cheesecake Factory and lose the mortgage on pies that are not as good as Marie Callender’s. If you like edible food that tastes good and is at least mildly affordable, go to TGIFridays. Or Marie Callender’s. Or shit, McDonalds. Have you had their $1.00 apple pies? To die for.

Dang, I could have had 100 apple pies from Mickey D’s for what that crappy night out cost me. Well, except for the whole $50 gift Card thing, which I’m pretty sure McDonald’s would not honor.

Bastards.



Second-Favorite Place to Visit
Crate & Barrel. It might just be the ampersand, which I feel is wholly underused in society as a whole. Or it might have more to do with the style of housewares they sell, which to me could best be described as “Modern understatement with Classic Taste.” I like simple, easy-to-use-and-clean equipment that has clean lines without ornate decorations and overstated flare. I like simple, elegant designs. Crate & Barrel sell a lot of that.

They also sell some really odd junk too, but I just skip those aisles.



Favorite Place to Visit
And what would a trip to Victoria Gardens be without a stop by the Apple Store? A trip not worth making, that’s what.

Of course I stopped in… And of course I played with the new Macbook Pro 17” 2.33GHZ Intel Core 2 Duo w/ glossy screen. And of course I want one, like right now. Funny thing was how into them the Girl was. She was all about the cool new features (she’s got an “iBook,” which is basically the “Look, I have a Mac, too!” of the family lineup) and overall speed improvements.
Sigh… however, we both know that new laptops are not in the cards for us for quite some time. We just bought this awesome new vacuum cleaner (you may have heard of it: Dyson?), and still need some other appliances, such as a refrigerator, washer & (ampersand) dryer, as well as cookware and dishware.

Maybe if we meet a strange, rich person that is willing to give us lots of money, provided we don’t spend it on a house or other overly-practical items, we’ll get them. But chances of running into a crazy like that are slim to none; I’m not sure many more of me exist in this world.
Seriously, peeps: Buy my photography, donate to the cause.

Peace.

Tags: hate, earth conditions, Apple

So I’m twenty-something and you know what I’m excited about? No, it’s not PS3, nor is it X-box 360. Yes, I am excited about the new Macbook Pros, but that’s not what I’m talking about. And no, it’s not that threesome I almost had, either.

It’s a vacuum cleaner. Yep. Yesterday, I bought a Dyson DC17 Animal, their current Top-O’-The-Line Model. Indeed, I’m twenty-something years old and I just got a hard-on over a suction device.

Somehow that made much more sense that it was supposed to; I’ll have to remember to proofread this later and find out why before I post it to the web…


Delayed Gratification
Though we did just purchase a new Dyson DC17 Animal suction device, I’ve yet to play with it. Sadly, Sears pulled something my work is famous for, and didn’t have it in stock. We purchased the thing (some $100 off normal price), but will have to wait until Wednesday to go and pick it up. And put it to use sucking things up, whatever those things may be.

Strange thing, we had actually gone to purchase a slightly different machine, but:

• They did not have the exact model we went for in the first place (DC15 Animal)

• According to the sales rep (a real a-hole, by the way), the “Animal” version of the DC 15 is not really a savings over buying the kit separately. My head hurt and I didn’t feel like doing math, so I backed down.

• The DC17, that had been picked second-choice by us due to some missing add-ons, actually proved to come with those add-ons if you buy the “Sears” version of the thing, which according to the sales guy (the a-hole, if you recall), is more robust than anyone else carries, because Sears was nice enough to carry the vacuum cleaner before it was a hit. Apparently.

• With the Sale on the Top-End model, it ended up cheaper than the DC15 by $25.

For some reason, I can’t seem to say “no” to the dogs for too long. I just got through with a light dinner for myself after I had fed them. Of course they looked at me and begged. And stern I was, telling them “NO!” and keeping them away. But when I was finished? Those sultry, pouty eyes overpowered me, and I just had to put out some turkey for them.

I’m such a sucker. Let’s hope I don’t have kids to spoil.



Money money money money money… Money!
This just in on 20/20: Nigeria scamming Americans. No freaking duh. I mean, seriously, I don’t care how many ways they say that anyone can fall for it, you have to be pretty dumb to read an email from some “Nigerian Prince” that has “45 million dollars” that he’ll share with you, if you just pay some nonsensical $500 fee to get it out of somewhere.

Helllo!? HE’S GOT 45 MILLION DOLLARS. Don’t you think that if he has that much money, he can pay the damn fee himself without your help? Yeah… think that one through and get back to me.

Hey, I’m a sucker…. But not that kind of sucker. Suckers.



Remember Me?
Yes, Lance Armstrong, I remember you. Right about now, though, I’d give anything to forget your stupid-line-reading-ass. Seriously? Give cancer a chance, man. Jesus, I think we should cancel Bristol Meyers Squibb. Or at least their TV license or something. And what kind of name is that, anyway? Armstrong…. How gay.



Left all alone. Frown :-(
Home alone. 10pm. Girl working late. I hope. Thank goodness for me there’s internet porn.
Otherwise I’d have to go and stalk my woman. ...buuuut, it’s nap time now. Love that after-porn nap!

Peace…. Zzzzzz….. Zzzz….

Tags: hate

OK, so I recently got my hair cut, and as I am typing this after my shower tonight, I’m noticing that my nails have grown out enough to interfere with my typing. I cut them a mere 8 days ago. My hair? Never have split ends.

Maybe It’s my Mutant Power or something. You know, Wolverine heals ultra-fast, I have freakishly healthy hair and nails.



So the False Idols begin to Crumble
Man, watching Bush squirm as every lie he has told begins to unravel in front of the populous he told the lies to is just tooooooo funny for me. He’s got the speech patterns and mannerisms of a liar in a corner. Tell us what we want to hear, that’s right. Dance, puppet, dance...
Maybe after he finally falls on his face as the Worst President Ever© he can pursue a career on Dancing with the Stars.



Christmas Quickly Approaching
And believe it or not, my Christmas shopping is all but done! HAHA, all you poor bastards out there with all that shopping to do… shiiiiit… I’m at home chillin’ until the 24th, when we open the presents and I get my Red Ryder BB gun with Pump-Action Handle, biotches. And then I’m gonna shoot your eyes out.



Geek on Board
So my favorite Channel? Jesus, hate to admit it, but…. I watch so much PBS anymore that it’s hard to deny. The programming is interesting, I swear it. Right now, I’m watching something on the study of life in the universe, or rather the prospect of.
And with over-the-air HD, it’s amazing. Yeah, that’s right: PBS records and broadcasts their content in 16:9 Hi-Def formats. Nature never looked so good!

[snort snort!] Peace!

Tags: hate

OK, so you know how the last few years Indy has been great up to the playoffs, where they suck really really badly and lose big? Yeah well, this year? They’re just getting the losses out of their system. See, this way when Playoff time comes, they’ll be all Lossed-Out™ and ready to actually take the Superbowl by storm.

Yea? Nay? Your thoughts:



Then there’s Army Strong
Or as I like to call it, Stupid Gayness®. I had this come up in a conversation like a day ago. Well, it could be said to be hours ago, really. Someone said that they wanted to go through this academy to learn self-discipline and reliability and work ethic. Thing is, and I can attest to this because I’ve done it… you don’t become anything different. You go through that stuff and find out who you are. If you’re not disciplined enough, you’ll fall out or give up or both at the same time. I’ve watched those around me do it, I really have. You have to be something to make it through in the first place.

Oh, and the Army commercials themselves are gay. Like, “makes me want to join Al-Quaida” Gay. Seriously, they’re probably scaring off more recruits than they’re getting. And they ones they are getting? Don’t ask don’t tell, baby. Wink wink.



Speaking of Commercials that Suck
Chevrolet. I needn’t say more, I’m sure you know which commercial I am referring to. OK, should I dissect it? I can’t stand it when companies pander a product to me by trying to cater to some OTHER sort of emotion or feeling or anything else completely unrelated to the product itself. Look, Chevy, if you’re trucks are good, THEN TELL ME ABOUT THEIR GOOD QUALITIES, not some utterly unrelated BS.

Nope. Instead they tell me that a REAL American drives a Chevy. That’s it. That’s their message: If you’re not driving a Chevy, you’re not American enough. You Terrorist Bastard. Because this is our country. YEAH!

Go F- yourself in your Chevrol-ass. And try this on for size: Make a better vehicle and maybe people will buy it, huh? There’s many reasons I drive and am enormously happy with my 1997 toyo 4Runner. And one of those is that it’s NOT a Chevy.



Head Cold
I think I have a lil’ bit of a head cold. I’m not really feeling ill, but you know that feeling where you feel really light in your head and your body? Got that going on. Hoping I can spread it around. Because I love company, you know.



PS: I Hate Pink
The singer, that is. As I write this, Pink is totally making Joan Jett turn over in her grave (What? Joan Jett is still alive? Well, not her career. BADABING!) by giving some horrible rendition of “I Hate Myself For Loving You” for Sunday Night Football.

And she’s ugly. Really ugly. Cover yourself, woman. If that’s what you really are…



My new Desire. For Now
Check this baby out. Full 1080p, and 65” of glory with a skimpy 6ms response time. And it’s a Flat Screen. Just don’t look at the price tag, ‘K?



Pre-Dated Material
Two in one day seems a little much, so I decided to go ahead and date this for Monday. Yes, I know that technically, I still wrote and posted two blogs this fine day, but I’m betting that most everyone won’t make it this far in the blog and thus will remain totally unaware of this last explanation here.

Peace.

Tags: hate

OK, so I found a way to get the BOLD thing going properly again. So you can all stop thinking for yourselves now, I’ll take over from here. Move along… !



Santa Ana Winds Late but maintain same level of annoying
Normally they start near Octubre and continue through about the first week of Deciembre at the latest. Last year they hardly blew much at all, and this year they decided to come ridiculously late. Here we are, the first week of December and they’re just starting! For those of you who don’t know, the Santa Ana Winds are these hellish winds that are usually quite warm, and also go the wrong fucking way! See, we live 35 miles from the ocean, so you’d assume (and 11 months out of the year, rightly so) that winds should come from that direction.

These things? Oh f*ck no. These things blow shit INTO the ocean a good 100 miles or so. Look, see here for more details.

Oh, and that link also has a nice little section that talks about the origin of the name, or rather the proposed origin of the name. So it’s Santa Ana winds. There.



Thinking of Losing It®
So on the way home from breakfast this morning, my girl pointed out that I’m highly unobservant at times. According to her, a few guys were staring her down rather hard as we were leaving the restaurant, unbeknownst to me.

Not too sure how to handle this. I mean, should I go “Hulk-a-rific” and kick some people’s asses in public? I mean, what good will that do? It might change their minds about doing that stuff, but I highly doubt that it would influence the behavior of other total strangers that are bound do it at another time. And I can’t kick everyone’s ass all the time, that would just get old.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll just have her point those people out to me and then I’ll just have a little stare-off with them. Maybe make “I want to have gay sex with you” gestures to get the mood right, see if I can jolt some respect into them.

Eh, before I do anything I need to see for myself. I mean, the girl and I are people watchers ourselves, so I can’t really get upset if people occasionally look our direction, too. Besides, they may just be looking for lessons on how to be Subdued-Cool™, which is perfectly understandable. So first up is to check out the problem, I guess. Then decisions on how to act are to follow. Hulk-a-rific or maybe gay eye contact, I’m not sure yet.

Peace.

Tags: hate, earth conditions, women

OK, so check this out: I totally found a way to justify a new Macbook Pro. Well, not right now, but the next iteration of them, which I guess means I’m OK with waiting for the next Iteration of them, which is totally NOT what most everyone thought of recent. Including me.

As you may know by now, I have a rather large-ish HDTV, and I also enjoy my movies. To be honest, I haven’t bought a new DVD in like a year and a half, because “I’m just going to wait until it comes out on Blu-Ray Disc, since that’s just around the corner.” You may have noticed that we’re around that corner now. But have you seen the prices of these things? Outrageous.

You may see where I’m going with this, but if not, it’s OK, because it’s only a mild intelligence test, it’s not final or anything… So let me draw this out for you: The next generation of Macbook Pro, probably available in about 8-9 months, will probably have a BD drive in them, along with faster chips and schtuff. AND, they have Optical Digital out connections, such as those used to output Dolby Digital surround, which means… I can get a new computer AND a BD Player with one purchase.

Aren’t I smart? [sigh,] just say yes dammit.



Home from the Gym. Early
Went to the gym today to do shoulders. Ended up there for a warm up and ONE set. Yeah. See, I went to do my first set of shoulder press and the left side of my neck went *cringe* and now I’m in pain (*cringe*) if I try to look left or strain to lift a weight. Such as to perform a second set, for instance. Frown :-(. So I came home to write this wonderful blog entry. Sorry for the absence, by the way. As if you cared.



We’re morphing
Last night at dinner (TGIFriday’s, if anyone’s concerned), The Girl looked at my face and saw a small “thing” on the right side of my nose near my eye. She said this: “Look, I have the same thing at the same place myself.” Sure enough, she did. I of course brushed it off as nothing at the time.
But today my neck hurts. On the left side. Badly. Oh, and this may be important, but yesterday The Girl woke up with a painful neck. On her left side. And I got to thinking that maybe – holy crap – we’re morphing into the same person.

I’m kind of excited; I’m looking forward to having a set of boobies always within arm’s reach. Among other things.

Peace.

Tags: Gym