300, Stiffy, & How Mr. Farrell Got Famous
I
Told You So
See? 300 breaks Box Office Records. Called it.
What are they smoking?
I was listening to a rather poor morning radio show (“The Morning Stiffy.” See what I mean? Best they could do was a penis joke), and they were criticizing the film’s battle scenes because “you felt like you were in the middle of 500 people fighting.” Seriously, what are they smoking? Yeah, see, that’s awesome. That’s what people like about films like that, is that you feel the adrenaline, you feel like you’re right in the middle of the action; they recreate for you the atmosphere a situation like that would create. That’s a success, people, not a failure!
See, this is what happens when people are dumb and can’t think of intelligent things to say: they say anything about topical events to try and sound as though they are relevant. What, you think maybe it is just their opinion, something they’re entitled to? I’m being to harsh, you say? OK, well maybe you should know that they also tried to compare it to “Saving Private Ryan.” And “The Matrix.” I stand by my estimation of their show. And now you do, too. I know, it’s OK, you don’t have to say you’re sorry.
Suddenly though, switching to this station from the other piss-poor station that work had us stuck listening to seems like a waste of time.
Someone Recently Asked….
If Will Ferrell made a deal with the devil. To which I asked, “In what sense?”
“You know, like in order to be famous, every movie he is in has to suck?”
“Hadn’t considered it like that. But you may be right.”
Blades of Glory. Give... Me... A break! Rather, give Will Ferrell a break, preferably the 3rd or 4th vertebrate. What has this guy done to be deserving of fame? He’s NOT FUNNY. Sorry, people, he’s not funny. Look, he can do bit parts, but feature films? Spare us, OK?
I have a semi-quasi-theory-idea-thought about all of this, actually. See, him, Adam Sandler (who can occasionally pull off a feature film), and the likes of Saturday Night Live had this wonderful idea to make lots of money off a 5-minute skit. Thing was, they were too fucking high at the time to realize that a 5-minute skit does not fill up 2 hours, and thus 5 minutes of comedy gets spread over 2 hours of bread. I might have messed up an analogy in there, but stick with me here, I’m making a point.
I refuse to see movies anymore by any crew of the SNL cast, especially when said proposed movie actually is an old skit (think “Superstar”). They just can’t do it. They have too many years of training in the 5-minute comedy routines, and they have proven enough times to me that they can’t adapt that to a full-length film. 99% of the time.
These raging moro– er, people, should stick with what got them to the dance: little bit parts. See Wedding Crashers for an idea of what I mean. Will Farrell in a movie? Only if he’s not starring and has a small, comic relief role that could almost be played by a cardboard cutout. Or COULD be played by a cardboard cutout, what the hell.
And, never, I mean NEVER, a movie with Jimmy Fallon in it. I hate him more than, than… well, I hate him a whole bunch. I wouldn’t recommend recommending me a movie with him in it. Should you, and I find out, I’ll hunt you down. Think a chair, chains, tape, a 13” color TV/VCR Combo, and a Copy of Taxi. And untold days of hilarity ensue.
Peace. And watch yourself…. BWAHAHAHAHA!!